IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, most people try to balance work and other part of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. What are the problems of this? Suggest some solutions to slove the problem?

In modern days, most workers have been living
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a stressful
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 trying to keep a good balance between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 and relaxing tasks, but in some
cases
Add a comma
cases,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is not
posible
Correct your spelling
possible
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will dive into
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 problems and solutions that envolve do not
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 a good balance. First
all
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of all
show examples
, in some
many
Correct word choice
apply
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cases
Add a comma
cases,
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 social pressure often
prioritize
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prioritizes
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 career success over personal
time
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,
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 can
further
Linking Words
 affect productivity and personal relationships.
Therefore
Linking Words
, is paramount
give
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to give
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really
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real
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 importance to
schechule
Correct your spelling
schedule
wich
Correct your spelling
which
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 helps to know what
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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time
Use synonyms
for
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apply
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finish to
work
Use synonyms
 and take moments
for
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to
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 disconnect the mind.
For instance
Linking Words
,
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
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time
Use synonyms
 after any job
for
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apply
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doing any
hobbie
Correct your spelling
hobbies
hobby
 not only helps
to
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apply
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mental health,
also
Linking Words
 it could be the main activity for
reasing
Correct your spelling
reading
 new talents.
Secondly
Linking Words
, several bosses prefer keeping the workers at
office
Add an article
the office
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 until late
all days
Fix the agreement mistake
every day
show examples
, it could be a cause for
a
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apply
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burnout or another type of mental or physical disease. To address
this
Linking Words
 problem, companies could offer more flexible
work
Use synonyms
arreglements
Correct your spelling
arrangements
,
such
Linking Words
 as remote working options and compressed workweeks,
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
allow
Change the verb form
allows
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 employees to better manage their
time
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, a worker who
Use synonyms
work
Change the verb form
works
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 from home has the advantage of
enjoy
Change the verb form
enjoying
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 more free
time
Use synonyms
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 could
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
to
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with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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laboral
Correct your spelling
labour
 productivity. All in all, most people do not have a good way
for
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of
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 taking
Correct article usage
a god
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god
Correct your spelling
good
show examples
 balance between
work
Use synonyms
 and
other part
Change the wording
another part
other parts
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 of
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but is crucial
build
Fix the infinitive
to build
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 plans for keeping
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good
work
Use synonyms
arrengements
Correct your spelling
arrangements
 and a
stile
Correct your spelling
style
show examples
 of life where workers can take care
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 mental health.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more logically. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly and naturally to the next one. This will improve the overall flow and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples and details to support your points. This will make your argument more convincing and add depth to your essay.
Task Achievement
Clarify your ideas with more precise language, especially when addressing problems and solutions. Making your ideas clearer will make the essay more comprehensible and engaging.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay includes an introduction that presents the topic and a conclusion that summarizes the main points.
Task Achievement
There is an attempt to address both problems and solutions related to work-life balance, which shows an understanding of the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • flexible work arrangements
  • remote working
  • compressed workweeks
  • boundaries
  • disconnect
  • mental health
  • productivity
  • societal norms
  • career success
  • recharge
What to do next:
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