IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

As many advertisements emphasise their products are new in some way,
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is becoming more and more common.
This
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 situation is driven by factors
such
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 as attracting customers' attention,
building
Correct word choice
and building
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 the
brand
Use synonyms
 image, and I recognize that it is a positive phenomenon for no matter customer or business. The initial reason businesses choose to emphasise that the product is new in some way is to attract attention. Generally speaking, people will
face
Wrong verb form
be faced
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 with all kinds of advertisements in all kinds of usages every day.
Therefore
Linking Words
, highlighting the uniqueness of the product and quickly distinguishing competitors,
this
Linking Words
 way can not only just be an innovation in functionality, but
also
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 in
designand
Correct your spelling
design and
 packaging.
In addition
Linking Words
, emphasizing the new
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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product helps shape the
brand
Use synonyms
 image. Innovation is often associated with a modern
brand
Use synonyms
 image.
For example
Linking Words
, whenever we mention the mobile phone
brand
Use synonyms
, we immediately think of the Apple
brand
Use synonyms
, which
is closely relates
Change the verb form
is closely related
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 to its detailed description of new designs every time it comes out to a new generation. I firmly accept
this
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 conduct. One is it
canstimulate
Correct your spelling
can stimulate
 the desire to purchase.
This
Linking Words
 is a common psychology among customers who crave
for
Change preposition
apply
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new products. The new
in
Change preposition
apply
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advertisements increase their willingness to purchase, especially in fields
such
Linking Words
 as food, technology and fashion, where launching new products often triggers a craze.
In addition
Linking Words
,
adapt
Correct subject-verb agreement
adapts
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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market changes. The market environment is constantly changing, it mentions that the b

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coherence cohesion
Improve the introduction and conclusion by clearly stating the main points and summarizing them effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is logically connected to the next. Use linking phrases for better flow.
task achievement
Provide a more detailed explanation for each point, and ensure this links back to a clear thesis statement in the introduction.
task achievement
You have identified key reasons why businesses emphasize new products: attracting attention and building brand image.
task achievement
You have included relevant examples, such as the reference to Apple's branding strategy, which adds depth to the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showing a clear attempt at organization.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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