IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #products #world #development
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As it is known,
counties
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countries
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 all over the world are starting to familiarize
as
Correct pronoun usage
themselves as
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products
Use synonyms
 are easily bought and replicated.
Although
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 some might argue that resembling other
countries
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 useless and could
deduct
Verb problem
affect
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 a
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countries
Change noun form
country's
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 development, I believe that
this
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 could be beneficial and could help
citizen
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citizens
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 receive easy access to resources
that
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 hard to find. When a
country
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 develops a
product
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that is
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 wanted by many people, I think it could be a positive area if
other
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another country
other countries
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country
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 could replicate it for their own citizens to enjoy the
product
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. Other than that, not only does it reduce the burden for people to ship
products
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 from other
countries
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,
it
Correct word choice
but it
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 could help other
countries
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 improve new
products
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 and create new developments from the original
product
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.
lastly
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, it could be very beneficial as every
country
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 can grow together and share their
products
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 and resources to increase
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 future for everyone.
On the other hand
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, it is believed that when
countries
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 replicate one another there could be arguments
in
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about
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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who originally created the
product
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.
Not to mention
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, some
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country
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countries
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 often take
credits
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credit
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 and sell the
product
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 in a much smaller range price, which could be a disadvantage for the ones who
sells
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sell
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 them
in
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at
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 a normal price. Followed by
this
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, replicating a
product
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that is
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 already made could deduct a
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countries
Change noun form
country's
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 creativity and the urge to create new and advanced
products
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.
To conclude
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, there are many reasons in which one would argue that being too similar can create arguments and reduce the wanting of developing advanced
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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.
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Although
Correct word choice
However
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, I believe that with the right mindset and a positive mind to grow together, we could continue to take the positive ideas and develop something better.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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task achievement
Ensure that each main point is thoroughly developed and supported with relevant examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow of your ideas between paragraphs and sections for stronger coherence.
task achievement
Avoid minor grammatical errors and awkward expressions by revising your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in structuring your response.
task achievement
You have presented both positive and negative perspectives, showing a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure within paragraphs is generally well-maintained.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
What to do next:
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