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Band 5.5

The continued rise in the world's population is the great problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the cause of this continue rise?Do you agree that is the great problem faced by humanity

#rise #world #population #humanity #time #continue
Nowadays, it is widely known that the population in the
world
 is
continuesly
Correct your spelling
continuously
 rising. I agree that
this
 increasing trend of
world
poplulation
Correct your spelling
population
 results in several challenges for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humanity
.
Also
, I support the idea that there should be some steps taken by the government to control the rising population.
To begin
 with,
this
 rise is mainly a result of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
knowladge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 among people about the consequences of overpopulation. The very first and one of the most important
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
 that may be faced because of
this
 s is
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of food resources.
This
 may lead
humanity
 to
drastical
Correct your spelling
drastic
drastically
 consequences like
starvity
Correct your spelling
starving
 in overpopulated areas of the
world
.
According to
 the reports of BBC, India, one of the most populated countries of the
world
 started to experience the food resource lack problem even nowadays.
This
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
should be an important call for raising
avaraness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 about the
concsuions
Correct your spelling
conclusions
 of overpopulation.
Moreover
, the ongoing
increace
Correct your spelling
increase
 in birth rate may later help diseases to spread at a faster rate which is
also
 not a satisfying result for
humanity
. An example can be
COVID-19
Correct article usage
the COVID-19
show examples
 virus that’s origin come from China which is a country with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 population. The
world
 overpopulation
on the other hand
,
further
 triggered the spread of the virus to be faster.
To conclude
, I believe above mentioned consequences of an overpopulated
world
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a great threat
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
humanity
 and steps should be taken to prevent
this
. These may be raising
acknowledgment
Change the spelling
acknowledgement
show examples
 about the expected results of
high
Add an article
the high
a high
show examples
 rate of birth or some regulations prohibiting maximum child numbers in a family.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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general
Pay attention to spelling and grammar errors; ensure words are accurately written to maintain professionalism in your essay.
task achievement
Include more specific data or studies to strengthen your arguments about overpopulation issues.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain a clear flow of ideas.
structure
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You have presented relevant examples to support your points, such as the reference to COVID-19 and India.
coherence cohesion
Overall content is organized logically, and your arguments are clear and understandable.

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  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
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