People are surrounded by all kinds of advertising. Some people believe that advertising has a negative effect on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Living in a world where technology is a part of our lives, digitalization moved advertising from
papers
to our hands and we are all surrounded by several types of advertising. Some people Fix the agreement mistake
paper
supports
Change the verb form
support
this
kind of improvement while
others, including me, believe it does not have a positive impact on people’s lives.
We cannot ignore the fact of how much social impact advertisements have on people’s lives, especially the younger population. Because young
generation is still in the process of Correct article usage
the young
formation of
their world and, some kind of Wrong verb form
forming
adds
may have a bad effect on their habits. These Correct your spelling
ads
includes
the ones about bad addictions Change the verb form
include
such
as sigarettes
or energy drinks. Correct your spelling
cigarettes
For instance
, according to
the survey conducted by Redbull
energy drink company, Correct article usage
the Redbull
while
some teenagers influenced
by their friends, more than half of them are addicted to it by Add a missing verb
are influenced
influencing
Replace the word
influence
from
Change preposition
by
advertisemens
.
Correct your spelling
advertisements
advertisement
Moreover
, too many ads about one particular product that is
also
available in several companies causes the repurchasing habit to decrease. A custumer
can be easily influenced by a better Correct your spelling
customer
add
and buy that product from a different seller Correct your spelling
ad
this
time. In this
way, previous
seller Change the article
the previous
looses
its Replace the word
loses
costumer
and Correct your spelling
customer
a
buyer Correct article usage
the
also
may not be satisfied with the product of the other company.
In conclusion, advertisements play a great role on
our society which I believe Change preposition
in
are
mostly negative because of Correct subject-verb agreement
is
its
impacts on both Correct pronoun usage
their
habits
of teenagers and Correct article usage
the habits
loyalty
of customers.Correct article usage
the loyalty
Submitted by i.nureddinn on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a framework for your argument. Ensure to further develop transitions between ideas to enhance logical flow and coherence.
task achievement
The essay responds well to the task, discussing both the ubiquity of advertising and its potential negative consequences. Consider providing more specific examples and broader perspectives to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a defined introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You provide a relevant example about energy drinks which helps support your point about advertising's impact on young people.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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