IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Write about the following topic: Many people say that they believe it is important to protect the environment but make no effort to do anything about it themselves. Why do you think this is the case? What action do you think individuals should take to protect the environment? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#topic #people #environment #effort #case #action #individuals
It is said that many
people
 do no actual actions
although
 they reckon it is necessary to protect
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. There are
sevearal
Correct your spelling
several
 reasons for
this
 situation, and in
this
Correct your spelling
essay
eassy
Add a comma
eassy,
show examples
 I will give my own solution to it.
Firstly
, protecting
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 may cause rising living costs.
For example
,in most cases,
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
environmental-friendly products
such
 as organic food are more expensive than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
normal
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
, which means
people
 especially in working-class are more likely to buy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cheaper
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
.
What'more
Correct your spelling
What's more
, many environmental
protection
Fix the agreement mistake
protections
show examples
 are
unaccessible
Correct your spelling
inaccessible
show examples
 to normal
people
. It is hard for them to go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Africa to prevent
wild lives
Correct your spelling
wildlives
 being hunted.What they could do is just support
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
professional organizations like WOAH or WWF in
mental
Change the article
a mental
show examples
 way. To solve
this
 problem, I have some
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
 below. The most important thing is to
rebulid
Correct your spelling
rebuild
build
 publicities
confident
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
 about
protect
Change the verb form
protecting
show examples
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. Governments and social organizations need to do more
publicize
Wrong verb form
publicised
show examples
 work about things
people
 can practice in their daily lives to protect
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
For example
, appealing
people
Change preposition
to people
show examples
 about using resources in a more efficient way like using washed- water to water the
flower
Fix the agreement mistake
flowers
show examples
, or
turn
Wrong verb form
turning
show examples
 off the light when
room
Correct article usage
the room
show examples
were
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 empty.
And local
Correct word choice
Local
show examples
 councils can
also
 give
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 to farmers to encourage them
grow
Add the particle
to grow
show examples
 organic food, with more products provided the market will cater
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 tendency to decrease the
prizes
Correct your spelling
prices
show examples
. For personal, everyone can do something smaller in daily lives, driving less and taking buses to work is always a good action to take, which really
cut
Correct subject-verb agreement
cuts
show examples
greenhouses
Fix the agreement mistake
greenhouse
show examples
 gas emissions and usage of fossil fuel. In conclusion, if everyone
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 a little step it would be a huge improvement in environmental protection.
Submitted by chen.allen0912 on

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Grammar and Vocabulary
Work on using more precise vocabulary and forming grammatically correct sentences.
Examples and Evidence
Provide clearer, more comprehensive examples to support your points.
Organization and Structure
Structure your essay with clear topic sentences and transitions between paragraphs.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well.
Relevance of Ideas
The main ideas presented are relevant to the topic.
Practical Solutions and Recommendations
You provided practical solutions for individual action toward environmental protection.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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