Write about the following topic: Some people think that competition at work,at school and in daily life is agood thing.Others believe that we should try to cooperate more,rather thancompeting against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your ownknowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

The argument over whether
people
should compete or cooperate more with others in their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
has not been settled yet.
Whereas
competiton
Correct your spelling
competition
offers a great chance to improve
people
's ability
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
problem-solving
Correct your spelling
problem-solve
show examples
or creative
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
, cooperation
have
Verb problem
creates
show examples
a kind working environment and
avoid
Correct subject-verb agreement
avoids
show examples
lots of conflicts.
Utimately
Correct your spelling
Ultimately
, I think the
competition
will be a good choice in long-term consideration.There are several advantages for
people
trying to cooperate more. Cooperation can provide a
harmony
Replace the word
harmonious
show examples
environment
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
everyone in the company, which can reduce the
working-stress
Correct your spelling
working stress
show examples
and make
people
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
more efficiently.Because, if
people
feel relaxed and delightful, their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
be more active.
That is
to say,
people
will think more quickly and more
creative
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creatively
show examples
.What's more cooperative
people
behave to
work
more in a team rather than working individually, which is vital for teamwork.
On the other hand
, selecting being competitive at
work
also
offers advantages for
people
.
Firstly
, competitive
people
may have a better working career,
such
as higher positions and greater income.Because, these
people
are more likely to be noticed by their leader and to be able to play an important role in
work
,which means they could have a platform to show their abilities.
In contrast
, without being competitive,
people
may
spent
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spend
show examples
most of their lives working in obscurity and gain less success.
Competition
at
work
will help
people
to learn new skills, especially in working places,it is hard to learn things without
motivatition
Correct your spelling
motivation
, so
competition
offers
such
motivation to everyone who
want
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wants
show examples
to be the winner,which helps them to learn skills. In conclusion,
although
working cooperatively will give you a comfortable working area, it is easy to addicted to it,
when
Correct word choice
and when
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you
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
out of that situation, being abandoned will be
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
destiny. Living in
such
a competitive world, it is hard to survive from
competition
, so both for personal and company, it will be better to choose
competiton
Correct your spelling
competition
as a selection.
Submitted by chen.allen0912 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your ideas. Sometimes, your points feel a bit disconnected. Use more transition words or phrases to guide the reader through your thoughts.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your points. This will help to illustrate your arguments more effectively and make them more relatable.
task achievement
Ensure you address both sides of the argument equally before giving your opinion, as this will demonstrate a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
You provide a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your discussion nicely.
task achievement
You discuss both the benefits of cooperation and competition, showing a balanced view and understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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