Some people find smartphones nothing but annoying gadgets, breaking communication between family or friends. Others find them quite otherwise. What is your personal opinion?
It is not too much to say that technology, per se, has made us what we are,
master
of the universe, ranging from control of fire at first to state-of-the-art inventions, e.g., aeroplanes and Fix the agreement mistake
masters
smartphones
. These technologies, whether tangible or intangible, have dramatically allowed our lives to become more convenient.
Admitting that there is always the other side of the coin of advantages and disadvantages, the answer varies from person to person, depending on value systems or personal traits. All in all, I agree that smartphones
could break our communications for two reasons.
First and foremost, the advent of smartphones
has made our communications worse. According to
a recent article in the New York Times, today, the number of face-to-face communications is significantly reduced compared to the data in 2000 due to
many people using chat services only, for example
, Instagram and What’s Up, however
, which lack facial expressions and context. Thus
, relying on chat apps causes more conflicts and misunderstandings with others.
Secondly
, but not less importantly, smartphones
have made us reduce time spent with families. Take my experience, for instance
, when I was a middle school student without my own smartphone; I frequently shared my experiences in school with my parents. In contrast
, since getting it, I have rarely talked and stayed with them because smartphones
offer me a lot of entertainment, such
as YouTube. Therefore
, I believe that smartphones
make family relationships break down.
In conclusion, while
the development of smartphones
has made our lives convenient, relying on them could lead to a lack of communication and time with families or friends. I believe it is essential to reconsider relationships with smartphones
to boost our connection rather than interrupt it.Submitted by hide8335 on
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task achievement
Ensure all examples given directly support the argument being made. For instance, while the mention of chat services reducing face-to-face communication is relevant, adding a specific example of a conflict caused by miscommunication via these apps would strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Strive to maintain equal depth in all arguments presented. The second argument about reduced family time could be expanded with additional details or studies to match the depth of the first argument.
coherence cohesion
Review sentence structures to ensure variety and avoid less frequent repetition of particular phrases or words, especially within short spans, to enhance engagement.
coherence cohesion
The essay opens with a strong introduction, engaging readers with the history and impact of technology, setting the stage for a discussion on smartphones.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph transitions smoothly, maintaining a clear and logical structure that ties the argument together well.
task achievement
The personal anecdote about your experience in middle school provides a compelling support to your argument and adds authenticity.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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