Many countries thought that children have to do homework in their free time while others say children should do more outdoor activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It has been argued that school students should do study
activities
insted
of outdoor Correct your spelling
instead
activities
in their lesure
Correct your spelling
leisure
time
. While
I agree that homework
plays pivotal
role, I believe Add an article
a pivotal
this
free time
should not be spend
only on one choice, but should be Change the verb form
be spent
splited
between Correct your spelling
split
both
variants.
Firstly
, doing only sudying
Correct your spelling
studying
activities
in free time
may deteriorate Correct article usage
a child
child
physical development or lead to obesity. Change noun form
child's
This
is because the functional systems of our body such
as blood
system, or Correct article usage
the blood
muscels
have to be trained Correct your spelling
muscles
otherwise
they may work incorrectly in the future. As wel
as deterioration of health, a lack of sport means that consumed Correct your spelling
well
callories
may not be burned. Correct your spelling
calories
For instance
, many home task
for students in Australia and Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
shortage
of Correct article usage
the shortage
outdor
Correct your spelling
outdoor
timespendings
Correct your spelling
time spendings
time-spendings
cased
the issue that 2 Correct your spelling
caused
from
3 children Change preposition
of
have
overweight.
Verb problem
are
Nevertheless
, spending all spare time
with outdor
Correct your spelling
outdoor
activities
could negatively impact on
academic performance. It is hard to deny, that school Change preposition
apply
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
has
become extremely difficult and students have to spend more and more Correct subject-verb agreement
have
efforts
on digesting Fix the agreement mistake
effort
it
. Correct pronoun usage
them
In other words
, the individual who do
not work on improving his knowledge at home may never be enrolled in Change the verb form
does
an
respectful university.
Change the article
a
Additionally
, adressing
the discussion between Correct your spelling
addressing
homework
and physical activities
requires time
investing on
Change preposition
in
both
. Thorough time
management and allocation efforts on physical development and increasing academic results may positively impacted
on Change the verb form
be impacted
impact
overall
realisation of a student. As Add an article
the overall
a
example, after Change the article
an
school
a student may have a Add a comma
school,
footbol
class and later Correct your spelling
football
homework
at home.
In conclution
, Correct your spelling
conclusion
although
doing homework
has crucial
impact on Add an article
a crucial
Correct article usage
a child
child
future, a lack of outdoor Change noun form
child's
activities
may bring harmfull
effects. I agree with Correct your spelling
harmful
importance
Correct article usage
the importance
both
of them and Change preposition
of both
that is
why I suggest practice
Wrong verb form
practising
both
of them.Submitted by sergeybelov83 on
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Improve your vocabulary range and usage for better expression. While the essay gets the message across, using varied and precise vocabulary can enhance clarity and sophistication.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Errors such as 'insted' instead of 'instead' and 'wel' instead of 'well' can somewhat affect the readability of your essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced approach towards homework and outdoor activities, offering arguments for both sides.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical with clear paragraphs for introduction, main body, and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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