Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Some people believe that we should defend
buildings
that are not used now. But I think that local forces need to substitute old constructions with new ones because populations
of towns are growing and the cost to maintain them.
Correct article usage
the populations
Firstly
, nowadays there are thousadns
of densely-populated cities all over the globe, where citizens have to live in compact and cramped flats. So, if we replace old Correct your spelling
thousands
buildings
with modern scyscrapers
, the price of homes may decrease significantly. Correct your spelling
skyscrapers
For instance
, the most overcrowded megapolises, like Tokyo, are filled with numerous huge buildings
and there are no places for old ones, especially in the centres.
Secodnly
, to protect ancient constructions a government needs a lot of money because mostly they don't make any profit by themselves. Correct your spelling
Secondly
Moreover
, local councils nowadays have far bigger problems to deal with, such
as poverty or unemployment, for example
, in my hometown forces don't have any time to think about defeanding
ancient Correct your spelling
defending
defeating
buildings
in the area.
Admittedly, if a construction has a large historical background, they
shouldn't be demolished, in order to save traditions. Correct pronoun usage
it
Such
buildings
can be turned into museums. In such
Correct article usage
a way
Correct article usage
a way
way
not only old castles, where kings lived, can be saved from Add a comma
way,
Replace the word
destruction
destroying
, but Replace the word
destruction
also
make a little
amount of money.
Correct word choice
small
To conclude
, while
the most of old small buildings
should be replaced with modern scycrapers
to tackle Correct your spelling
skyscrapers
an
overpopulation problem and not to spend too Correct article usage
the
much
resources on Change the quantifier
many
this
issue, some of them must be protected and made into fascinating places, where tourists go, to save history
of countries.Add an article
the history
a history
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow by arranging the ideas in a more coherent order. Consider linking the disadvantages of maintaining old buildings directly to the advantages of replacing them.
task achievement
Ensure clarity in expression. Some grammatical errors affect the readability of the essay. Pay attention to spelling and subject-verb agreement.
task achievement
The essay effectively covers both sides of the argument before presenting your opinion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly defined and provide a strong framework for the essay.
task achievement
Good use of specific examples, such as the reference to Tokyo, to support your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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