Some people think parents should supervise their children’s activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both sides of the arguments and give your opinion.

In today's world,the debate surrounding whether parents should closely supervise their
children
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's activities or allow them more freedom is a pressing one.Some argue that strict
supervision
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ensures a child's safety and well-being,
while
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others believe that granting
children
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more autonomy helps them develop independence and critical thinking
skill
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skills
show examples
.
Both
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views hold merit it is essential to find
balanced
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a balanced
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approach that considers a child's age maturity,and the
enviroment
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environment
they are growing up in.   Those who advocate for close parental
supervision
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argue that teenagers,especially younger ones,lack the
expirence
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experience
to make informed decisions.
Children
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are vulnerable to many dangers,
both
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online  and offline
such
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as
,
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apply
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cyberbullying,inappropriate content,or peer
preassure
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pressure
,which can negatively affect their
devolopment
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development
.By keeping a close eye
their
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on their
show examples
children
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's activities,parents can guide them through
difficuld
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difficult
situation
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situations
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and teach them to differentiate between right and wrong.
Moreover
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,parents who supervise their
childrens
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children's
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academic and social lives often notice problems early on,allowing them to intervene and support their
children
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before issues escalate.In
this
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sense,close
supervision
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provides and protective barrier against harmful
influenced
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influences
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.  
On the other hand
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,there is a strong case for allowing
children
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more freedom,particularly as they grow older.Giving
children
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autonomy fosters independence and self-reliance,which are essential life
skill
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skills
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.when
children
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and allowed to
meke
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make
dicisionsthey
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decisions, they
learn to handle
consequences
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the consequences
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of their actions and develop
problem solving
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problem-solving
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ablities
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abilities
.Overprotective parenting,
in
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contrast
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contrast,
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can result in a lack of confidence and a
dependensy
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dependency
dependence
on
other
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others
show examples
for decision-making.
Furthermore
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,
children
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who are trusted with responsibility often feel a greater sense of
accountabilty
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accountability
,which motivates them to act more
responsibility
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responsibly
show examples
.In
this
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view,
children
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should be allowed to explore the world around them.      In
conculusion
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conclusion
,
both
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supervision
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and freedom have their
adventages
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advantages
.
While
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young
children
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need more guidance to ensure their safety,older
childer
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children
show examples
benefit from being given the space to grow and learn from their experiences.A balanced approach that adjusts the level of
supervision
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according to
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the child's age and maturity is likely the most effective way to
nature
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nurture
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both
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independence and security.

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task achievement
Make sure to provide more specific examples to strengthen arguments.
coherence cohesion
There are some minor spelling and grammatical errors that need to be addressed for better clarity and professionalism.
task achievement
Consider elaborating further on the conclusions drawn from the arguments discussed to provide a more in-depth perspective.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a strong introduction and conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the complexities involved in parenting.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • supervise
  • ensure safety
  • teach values
  • discipline
  • guide learning
  • harmful content
  • bad influences
  • structured environment
  • foster independence
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • resilience
  • decision-making abilities
  • explore interests
  • personal development
  • balanced approach
  • set boundaries
  • make choices
  • accountability
  • real-world situations
  • consequences
What to do next:
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