The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is evident that nowadays people spend most of their
time
at
work
than ever before.
This
raises a certain question about the standard working
hours
and adequate weekends.
While
some still hold to the conservative view that people have to
work
as much as possible to supply life expenditures, in
this
essay, I intend to argue that working
hours
are much more than humans’ capabilities. The reasons for
this
are as follows. First of all, spending a third of a day – 8
hours
at
work
seems to be incompatible with the physical nature of the body. Of course, spending as much
time
as possible at
work
would bring economic growth and prosperity in the short term,
however
, the disadvantageous it causes to
workers
Change noun form
workers'
worker's
show examples
health in later life are irreparable most of the
time
. A salient example of
this
is especially
developing
Change preposition
in developing
show examples
countries where employees have to
work
more than 8
hours
a day with a mere one day off at
weekend
Correct article usage
the weekend
show examples
. Sacrificing resting and leisure
time
for
work
would
jeopardis
Correct your spelling
jeopardise
jeopardize
their physical and mental health.
Secondly
and even more importantly, though, working for long
hours
and
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
weekends would result in dropping the efficiency at
work
.
According to
research conducted in 2020, decreasing
work
time
from 8 to 5
hours
in a factory, resulted in
30
Correct article usage
a 30
show examples
% increase in
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
productivity,
workers
Change noun form
workers'
worker's
show examples
innovation and problem-solving skills. In order to have a flourishing and healthy society, greater regulation of standard working
time
would be justified. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that spending
such
long
hours
at
work
with inadequate weekends has turned out to have disastrous impacts on society at large.
However
, providing the opportunity for workers to have more free
time
would be accompanied
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
exponential benefits for the nation.
Submitted by golriiz.azizi1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases to enhance the logical flow between paragraphs. This will help in presenting a more cohesive argument.
task achievement
Although the essay mostly responds to the task, it can be enhanced by addressing potential counterarguments or counterpoints to strengthen the discussion.
task achievement
Clarify and expand on some ideas further, particularly in the second point about efficiency at work due to shorter hours, to ensure clarity and comprehension.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, effectively setting up the topic and summarizing the main points.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well supported with examples, such as the research finding about increased productivity.
task achievement
The argument is clearly aligned with the essay's task, providing reasons and examples for your stance about a shorter working week.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: