Some peopl believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matter that affect them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some argue that allowing
children
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too much freedom in making daily decisions may foster
self-centered
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self-centred
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attitudes.
This
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view suggests that when
children
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are given unchecked freedom to prioritize their own preferences,
such
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as in clothing or entertainment, they may become overly focused on personal gratification. Over time,
this
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could lead to a society of individuals who lack empathy and struggle to consider others’ needs, which could disrupt social harmony.
Conversely
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, others argue that giving
children
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a degree of autonomy is essential for their development. Allowing them to make choices helps build confidence and decision-making skills.
For example
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,
children
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who choose their meals or activities learn to evaluate options and understand consequences, which can foster independence. Research supports that
children
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given early decision-making opportunities often grow into responsible adults. In my opinion, a balanced approach is best. Allowing
children
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to make choices, with guidance, promotes independence
while
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teaching them to consider others’ perspectives.
For instance
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, parents might allow a child to choose their clothes but encourage compromise on family activities.
This
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way,
children
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learn to value both autonomy and empathy. In conclusion,
while
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there are risks to granting too much freedom, appropriate guidance allows
children
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to develop into considerate, self-reliant individuals.

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task achievement
The essay offers a complete response to the task, clearly addressing both views and presenting a balanced opinion. However, you could include more specific examples to strengthen the arguments, especially when discussing societal impacts.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistent use of transitions between paragraphs to enhance flow. While the logical structure is solid, slightly more connective phrases could improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively introduces the topic and provides a clear conclusion, summarizing the balanced viewpoint.
task achievement
Main points are well-supported, enhancing the essay's persuasiveness and clarity.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
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