some people claim many things that children are taught at school are a waste of time. Other people argue that everything taught at school is useful at some time. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

There is a rising debate about whether it is wasting
time
for
children
to be taught at
school
.
People
's opinions vary from person to person. From my
perpective
Correct your spelling
perspective
, the benefits of
children
attending
school
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
the disadvantages of it. Some
people
may assume that going to
school
means
Verb problem
is
show examples
a waste of
time
because
children
can learn more virtue and survival skills from their parents, which are the
fundemental
Correct your spelling
fundamental
abilities for them to engage in the complex society effectively.
Moreover
, from their views, the
time
students spend in
school
can reduce kids'
time
for self-learning and the opportunities for them to dedicate themselves to self-growth. For
expample
Correct your spelling
example
, something they
really
Add a missing verb
are really
show examples
into doing, from painting to playing instruments, what's more,
excersing
Correct your spelling
exceeding
exercising
, all of them can make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
progress with their competency of
favorite
Correct pronoun usage
their favorite
show examples
talents. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, other
people
believe that those things taught in
school
are useful, which
people
can't
absurb
Correct your spelling
absorb
absurd
from their families,
those academic knowledge
Change the determiner
that academic knowledge
show examples
can help individuals get a higher degree in the future,
thus
earn
Wrong verb form
earning
show examples
a higher income, improving the standard of living.
In addition
,
school
lives make
children
understanding
Wrong verb form
understand
show examples
the ways to integrate into
group
Correct article usage
a group
show examples
, getting
know
Fix the infinitive
to know
show examples
how to work in
group
Correct article usage
a group
show examples
and how to get along appropriately with others. Both sides of
statements
Correct article usage
the statements
show examples
have their own reasons and advantages. In my opinion, I completely
agree
Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
show examples
the idea that everything taught in
school
can be useful at some
time
and it is better for kids to accept education in
school
rather than other places. Students can not only learn those
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
written in textbooks but
also
have the chance to communicate with classmates in order to foster
thier
Correct your spelling
their
socializing abilities and to realize how
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reality works in advance.
Children
spending
time
at
school
doesn't mean a waste of
time
,
instead
, because of the
abunding
Correct your spelling
abundant
skills that
scahool
Correct your spelling
school
schools
can impart, students can become more
intellegent
Correct your spelling
intelligent
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
that way.
Submitted by n6160978224716 on

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task achievement
To improve, include more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. This would make the arguments more convincing and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the argument by clearly contrasting the two viewpoints in each paragraph. This will help highlight the differences and provide a stronger basis for your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main argument effectively.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear and coherent, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • comprehensive education
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • social skills
  • well-rounded education
  • outdated curriculum
  • technological advancements
  • job market needs
  • subject relevance
  • career paths
  • diverse skill set
  • knowledge base
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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