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Band 4.5

The bar chart below illustrates five different industries’ percentage share of Brazil’s economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The bar chart below illustrates five different industries’ percentage share of Brazil’s economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#bar #five #industries’ #percentage #brazil’s #economy #forecast #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The data illustrates
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 share
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
Brazil
Change noun form
Brazil's
show examples
economy
 between 2009 and 2019 from five different industries and
forecast
Fix the agreement mistake
forecasts
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 for 2029, and there are some differences which are set out below.
First,
in 2009,
Brazil
’s
economy
 had a higher statistic with 31% in
finance
Add an article
the finance
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sector
,
which
Correct word choice
while
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 from food processing industry only had
10
Correct article usage
a 10
show examples
% contribution to the
economy
.
In
Change preposition
On
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 the other hand, manufacturing companies contributed 21% slightly lower than the tourism and oil, coal and gas
sector
 which contributed 25% to economic development in
Brazil
.
Secondly
,
2019
Correct article usage
the 2019
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 data was
differences
Replace the word
different
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 from the industry in
Brazil
, there was a slight growth in the financial
sector
 of 36%, still outplayed
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the other five sectors.
Moreover
, the contribution of manufacturing to the
economy
 was decreasing to only 15%,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 makes the smallest contribution to the
economy
. It follows that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 food processing had
significantly
Change the adverb
significant
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 growth and was the same figure as the tourism
sector
 at 21%.
Furthermore
, oil, coal and gas placed the second highest position for the
economy
, contributing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
31%.
Lastly
,
Brazil
 has
forecast
Correct article usage
a forecast
show examples
 for
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words brazil, economy, sector with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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