IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Environmental problems are too big for individual countries or individual people to address. In other words, we have reached the stage where the only way to protect the environment is at an international level. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#countries #people #address #stage #environment #level
The argument over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental protection whether depends on international
cooperations
Fix the agreement mistake
cooperation
show examples
 or individuals can
also
 help has not been settled. Some people say we have faced the situation that the worldwide effects are
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 effective way to protect the
environment
.
However
, in my opinion, I totally disagree with
this
 view, and I will give reasons before the
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
. In most cases, global organizations like
UN
Correct article usage
the UN
show examples
also
 need individuals to implement
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 protectional
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
, which means it is actually not only the organization's
stuffs
Correct your spelling
staff
show examples
 but
also
 every person in the world that
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 efforts to protect the
environment
. So it is possible for individual countries and individual people to play a role in protecting our surroundings.
Although
 environmental problems
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
sound like a huge topic,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 still can be divided into small pieces.
For example
, there are various parts of environmental
protections
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protection
show examples
,
such
 as reducing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wastage,
Correct word choice
and prevent
show examples
prevent
Wrong verb form
preventing
show examples
 the emission of toxic fumes.
That is
 to
say
Add a comma
say,
show examples
 people can do a lot of things in their daily lives to protect the
environment
. Citizens can start
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 going to the
supermaket
Correct your spelling
supermarket
 once a month
instead
 of weekly shopping, which can reduce the usage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vehicles and emit less pollution gas
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
air
Correct article usage
the air
show examples
. What's more, it will be a good choice to buy second-hand products or use social media to exchange unused
thing
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things
show examples
 with others rather than buy
brand new
Add a hyphen
brand-new
show examples
 items. Because
,
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apply
show examples
 the more things we buy the more waste we will cause. In conclusion, since our
environment
 has been badly polluted for many years and it will no longer be suitable for
human
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humans
show examples
 to live
, the
Change preposition
in, the
show examples
 duty of protection
is belonging
Wrong verb form
belongs
show examples
 to everyone living on the blue
plant
Correct your spelling
planet
show examples
.
Submitted by chen.allen0912 on

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task achievement
Ensure to clearly state your position in the beginning and summarise your main points in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Use connectors and linking words to enhance the flow of your ideas and ensure a logical progression.
task achievement
Use more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments, which can make your points stronger.
coherence cohesion
Refine grammar and vocabulary usages to ensure clarity and precision in making your points.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion, which is essential for a well-structured essay.
task achievement
You have a relevant argument about how individual actions contribute to environmental protection.
task achievement
Breaking down the large issue of environmental protection into smaller, more manageable issues is a good analytical approach.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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