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Band 5

Several languages are in daner of extinction because they are spoken by very small number of people.Some people say that government should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#languages #daner #extinction #people #government #money #waste
Some of the minor
languages
 are disappearing these days because of the decreasing number of people who speak them. There are two opinions on
this
 topic; one is that the government should take actions
such
 as investing public money
on
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in
show examples
 saving those
languages
, and the other is that the cost
for
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of
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 preserving them can be just a waste of money. First of all, the former idea is usually supported by those who believe that a
language
 is not just a
mean
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means
show examples
 of communication.
Languages
 include
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 historical and cultural background, which means saving a certain disappearing
language
 will lead to the preservation of its culture at the same time.
Moreover
, the cultural knowledge or wisdom from the
language
 may solve the problems that we will face in the future. People who uphold the latter
one
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apply
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think that a
language
 is just a tool for communicating with others.
Thus
, from their viewpoint, they conclude that if nobody uses the
language
 to convey messages to someone, investing too many financial resources
on
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in
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 preserving it will be in vain. In my opinion, we should save
languages
 even if very few
of
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apply
show examples
people speak them because there are many things to learn from them. A
language
 is like a sunglass to see something. As I mentioned in
previous
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the previous
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paragragh
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paragraph
paragraphs
, a
language
 embraces its cultural and historical background. And, those
cutural
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cultural
 elements within a
language
 will influence
on
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apply
show examples
our way of seeing the world. To broaden our perspective, it is extremely important for us to keep those
languages
 "alive". In conclusion, there are various discussions on whether we should preserve disappearing
languages
, or not.
However
, I think we
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
 save them not just because they are useful for our communication but
also
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because it
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it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 should be cherished with
the
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apply
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respect to
its
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their
show examples
 culture and we should learn something from them.
Submitted by m.kiyosu1997 on

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-defined, which provides a clear start and closure to your essay. However, work on strengthening the connections between ideas in the body paragraphs to improve logical structure.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or case studies that support your arguments. For instance, mention a specific language that has been saved and discuss the impacts or benefits of its preservation.
task achievement
Although your ideas are clear, adding more depth to your analysis would enrich your task response. Try to explore the implications of each viewpoint more thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized into distinct introduction, body, and conclusion sections, which makes it easy to follow.
task achievement
Your opinion is clearly stated and justified fairly well in the context of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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