In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays,
people
's life expectancy has increased owing to the development of the
Correct article usage
apply
society
. The trend of the ageing population
becomes
a significant debate among Wrong verb form
has become
the
individuals. Some Correct article usage
apply
people
believe that this
phenomenon could cause inconveniences to the governments, while
others claim that this
trend gives
a positive effect Verb problem
has
to
Change preposition
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
. In my opinion, the ageing population
brings more disadvantages than its advantage.
An ageing population
inflames more burdens to
Change preposition
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
. For facing
the growth of Change preposition
To face
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
people
population
, governments need to appropriate more fonds
in the field of medical healthcare, resulting in a large expense and amplifying the tax burden of the citizens. The authorities need to implement more policies to protect the Correct your spelling
funds
elderlies
Replace the word
elderly
such
as establishing more elderlies
healthcare Replace the word
elderly
centers
, allocating welfare to those in need and reinforcing Change the spelling
centres
the
retirement guarantees. All of these could be Correct article usage
apply
a
burdensome for the Change the article
apply
society
.
Furthermore
, an ageing population
could be attended by the lost
of Replace the word
loss
overall
productivity of the civilization. Ageing people
have more possibilities to be removed from the workforce system as their body condition might be a problem for work. As a result
, less workforce could be provided to meet the
Correct article usage
apply
society
's demand, leading to an instability for the overall
industry.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that an ageing population
is indeed an issue we should deal with. Not only it causes
Wrong verb form
cause
the
increase Correct article usage
an
of
the Change preposition
in
finance
burden of the government but Replace the word
financial
also
leads to a decline of
working Change preposition
in
prodictivity
. In sum, I don't agree Correct your spelling
productivity
productively
with
its advantages outweigh the disadvantages.Change preposition
that
Submitted by a0979181071 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your arguments and show your ability to relate ideas to practical scenarios.
task achievement
Focus on elaborating your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Ensure each argument is fully developed with detailed explanations.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that transitions between paragraphs and ideas are smooth and logical. This will enhance the overall flow and coherence of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
You have presented a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
complete response
The essay addresses the task effectively, covering both sides of the argument with a focus on your opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!