Some teachers tend to reward students who achieve high academic results, others, however, support and reward students that show the most improvement. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In
modern
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the modern
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world, many tutors want to reward pupils who
take
Verb problem
earn
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good academic points,
while
others prosecute
an
Correct article usage
the
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idea that teachers should reward
students
who present the most improvement.
This
essay will support the second statement because the main goal of school is to provide
good
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a good
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education for more
youngs
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young
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and guarantee their prosperity in future and the given approach will give more advantages for more, even though school doesn't achieve high results in
competitions
Fix the agreement mistake
competition
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in comparison with the school that gives more attention for schoolers who have good marks and by them will take a higher budget. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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hand, more
students
will be rewarded and have much more motivation to study.
Also
, it will give them a chance that they can be good in any subject if they want, so it will present more perspective generation in future.
Furthermore
, the approach will present more employed and graduated
students
who have a food degree in their professions because
students
will be good in different aspects.
For example
, my sister's
english
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English
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teacher loved her
students
and always
reward
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rewarded
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them if she
see
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saw
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any improvements, and that
technic
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technique
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help
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helped
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her
students
because they always were motivated and
learn
Wrong verb form
learned
show examples
their material faster.
Submitted by dimash.shaitmahmet on

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task achievement
Ensure that you address all parts of the task clearly. Consider elaborating on each point made, as the essay does not fully develop the idea of rewarding students who achieve high academic results, and their potential benefits.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and cohesive devices more consistently throughout the essay to improve flow. The transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear conclusion restating your position on the two views presented. Ensure to summarize your main arguments to reinforce your opinion.
task achievement
The essay effectively outlines two contrasting viewpoints and provides a personal opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical flow with main points clearly linked between the introduction and the body of the text.
task achievement
Examples such as the story of your sister’s English teacher are relevant and help to support your argument of rewarding improvement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Incentivize
  • Academic success
  • High achievers
  • Excellence
  • Competition
  • Strive
  • Recognition
  • Encouragement
  • Inclusive
  • Educational environment
  • Personal growth
  • Middle ground
  • Efforts
  • Neglect
  • Lower the bar
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