In many developed and developing nation, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could help to tackle that issue.
Nowadays, median life
expectency
in many countries is growing. Correct your spelling
expectancy
This
cause
more old Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
people
occupying
job vacancies Change the verb form
to occupy
instead
of youth
. Also
, older individuals who do not work
would bring about excessive financial pressure on government
and Correct article usage
the government
societies
.
One of the crises of Fix the agreement mistake
society
this
phenomenon is more of the old people
would work
in some professions in their old age. Thus
, there might not find
any spaces for young Verb problem
be
people
in job markets. Due to
the fact that youth
are more energetic and hardworker
, Correct your spelling
hardworking
hard worker
lack
of Correct article usage
a lack
work
for the youth
would result in unproductiveness
of businesses. For Correct article usage
the unproductiveness
instanse
, some doctors Correct your spelling
instance
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
work
untill
their old age and Correct your spelling
until
this
might be chalenging
for a young doctor to get their place. Correct your spelling
challenging
Furthermore
, an increase in the population of the old people
in the nations require
more Change the verb form
requires
health
care services and financial supports
. Fix the agreement mistake
support
For example
, some Governments
provide free health
care services for their senior citizens such
as free montly
Correct your spelling
monthly
chechups
. Correct your spelling
checkups
Also
, the athorities
devote considerable money to Correct your spelling
authorities
the
Correct article usage
apply
pension
.
To tacke
the problem of job Correct your spelling
address
vacancy
, the Fix the agreement mistake
vacancies
governments
could pass a law which companis
and businesses should prioritize recruiting Correct your spelling
companies
the
young Correct article usage
apply
people
insted
of Correct your spelling
instead
the
Correct article usage
apply
elder
ones. Correct your spelling
older
For example
, hospitals could consider to
Change the verb form
working
work
with younger doctors in order to give them opportunity
to illustrate their capabilities. To Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
adress
the issue of excessive Correct your spelling
address
health
and financial support of the elderly. Instead
of the governments
being in charge of paying pension
and providing Fix the agreement mistake
pensions
health
insurances
, Fix the agreement mistake
insurance
priivate
institutions could be established. Correct your spelling
private
As a result
of this
, people
pay for their insurance and pension
during their lives and when get old, they can use its health
and finance
benefits.
In conclusion, life expectancy causes several problems in the societies. These would be solved with Replace the word
financial
aid
of the Correct article usage
the aid
governments
in pass
the law for prioritizing Change the verb form
passing
youth
in recruitment processes. Also
, private organization
for Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
pension
and insurance could mitigate the issues.Submitted by rezaei.rezvan94 on
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task achievement
The essay addresses the topic, but it could benefit from more detailed analysis of the problems and solutions. Make sure to expand on how these problems specifically impact both individuals and society.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea, and try to develop these ideas with more concrete examples. For instance, when discussing healthcare costs, explain how this directly affects government budgets.
coherence cohesion
The essay's structure is logical, but transitions between paragraphs and ideas could be smoother. To improve coherence, use linking words and phrases to connect ideas more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Include a more detailed conclusion that summarizes the main points and reinforces your arguments. This will help strengthen the overall cohesion of the essay.
task achievement
The essay clearly identifies two main problems associated with increased life expectancy, which shows an understanding of the task requirements.
task achievement
Some relevant examples are provided, such as the impact on job vacancies and the need for healthcare, which illustrate the points being made.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion present, which helps to organize the essay effectively.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
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