IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that social media sites have a huge negative effect on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #media #sites #effect #individuals #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
 say that social
media
Use synonyms
sites
Use synonyms
 are extremely useful in the sense that we can get
information
Use synonyms
 whenever we want.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is an opinion that social
media
Use synonyms
sites
Use synonyms
 negatively influence both individuals and
society
Use synonyms
. I mostly agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion in terms of
reliablity
Correct your spelling
reliability
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, anybody can post anything on social
media
Use synonyms
sites
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, we sometimes encounter
information
Use synonyms
 which is not true. For
exmaple
Correct your spelling
example
, some
people
Use synonyms
 upload
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
photos to which they add
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elements or captions that
had
Verb problem
did
show examples
 not originally
existed
Wrong verb form
exist
show examples
 in the picture. Because of
this
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
what happens in the photograph
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 true and will react to the post. The more
people
Use synonyms
 react to the fake news, the more
people
Use synonyms
 will get confused.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it leads to panic in the
society
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
information
Use synonyms
 on social
media
Use synonyms
sites
Use synonyms
 is
ususally
Correct your spelling
usually
 captured without context.
For instance
Linking Words
, I have seen the uploaded video about two men who are fighting each other on the train. From the viewpoint of the person who took the movie,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
man A is seen as evil who started the conflict.
However
Linking Words
, in reality,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
man
Capitalize word
Man
show examples
 B was trying to protect his girlfriend from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
man
Capitalize word
Man
show examples
 A. These two examples
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 us the necessity of having a literacy that can handle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
too much fake
information
Use synonyms
 on
such
Linking Words
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
sites
Use synonyms
. The
information
Use synonyms
 without context will often make
people
Use synonyms
 and
society
Use synonyms
 misunderstand the situation and take wrong actions
such
Linking Words
 as speaking ill of innocent
people
Use synonyms
. As discussed above, I
supoort
Correct your spelling
support
 the idea that social
media
Use synonyms
sites
Use synonyms
 sometimes have a negative impact on both individuals and
society
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, if we use those
sites
Use synonyms
 in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right way, they can be extremely useful in a specific occasion where we need
information
Use synonyms
 instantly,
such
Linking Words
 as
natural
Correct article usage
a natural
show examples
 disaster. The most important thing is to obtain the ability to judge what is
ture
Correct your spelling
true
 and what is not true.
Submitted by m.kiyosu1997 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Improve grammatical accuracy by reducing typos and spelling mistakes.
task response
Ensure each argument is clearly linked back to the main thesis to strengthen task achievement.
task response
Develop examples further to increase clarity and relevance.
structure
Good introduction and conclusion that summarize your viewpoint effectively.
supporting details
Main points are generally well-supported with examples, adding depth to your arguments.
coherence
Logical flow between paragraphs makes the essay easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: