Many people believe that scientific research should be carried out and controlled by gorvernments rather than private companies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As an important tool to develop deeper knowledge in certain
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
, scientific
research
needs to be supported whether by the
government
or a company. In
this
essay, I will explain why I strongly agree with the statement that
research
endorsement from public
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
show examples
is preferable
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
sponsorship from private
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
. First of all,
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
show examples
budget
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
to be wisely
alocated
Correct your spelling
allocated
located
as they have
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
responsibility to the people.
As a result
, the
government
would
applied
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
strict selection to choose
research
proposal
Fix the agreement mistake
proposals
show examples
that needed to be funded. They tend to allocate money for
research
according to
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
show examples
strategy and future
objection
Fix the agreement mistake
objections
show examples
.
Thus
, the
research
would focus on giving
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
In addition
, many
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
governments
also
conduct independent
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
show examples
to support and rule public
research
.
For example
, Indonesia
appoint
Change the verb form
appoints
show examples
a special group of people under BRIN or National
Research
and Innovation Agency to control
research
in various
consetration
Correct your spelling
concentration
concentrations
such
as social welfare,
medical
Replace the word
medicine
show examples
, and technology.
On the other hand
,
research
conducted by private companies usually
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
more
fleksibility
Correct your spelling
flexibility
as they have greater
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
of money from their investors. Because of that, they have the ability to do
research
on
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
various
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
that
doesn't
Correct subject-verb agreement
don't
show examples
depend on
government
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
. Despite the positive effect,
private
Add an article
the private
show examples
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
have no responsibility
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society like the
government
. They tend to do
research
that
generete
Correct your spelling
generate
generates
profit on their own behalf.
Moreover
,
this
could lead to
result
Wrong verb form
results
show examples
badly for the people. In the end, even
private
Correct word choice
if private
show examples
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
have greater resources,
research
Correct article usage
the research
show examples
ecosystem
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
to be built by the
government
as it would aim specific purpose that would
give
Verb problem
apply
show examples
benefit
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance clarity, consider smoothing transitions between contrasting ideas or paragraphs. This will improve the flow of the essay.
task achievement
Work on making your ideas more comprehensive and clear. Some points are broad and could be more precisely developed.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments. This can strengthen your position.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents the writer's stance on the issue and outlines the main points that will be discussed.
supported main points
You effectively discuss both sides of the argument: government vs. private company control over research. This provides a balanced perspective.
introduction conclusion present
The essay's conclusion nicely wraps up the argument, aligning with the points mentioned in the introduction.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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