IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people are buying things on the internet like air tickets, books and groceries making online shopping more popular with every passing day. Does the advantages of such shopping outweighs the disadvantages?

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On
Change preposition
In
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 the past decade,
throgh
Correct your spelling
through
though
 the fast pace of technological progress, buying goods and services through digital
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
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 has become very common.
This
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 phenomenon has
bring
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brought
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 lots of conveniences to society
while
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 at the same time indirectly helping the environment. Meanwhile, its abusive usage has
Use synonyms
increase
Replace the word
increased
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 consumerism and turned the marketplace into a place with an
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
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 pricing
situtation
Correct your spelling
situation
. One of the
proponent
Change to a plural noun
proponents
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 of online shopping is definitely the idea of getting the things that we need
at
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in
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 the comfort of our home. We no longer have to buy the product at the mall or
brick at mortar
Correct your spelling
brick-and-mortar
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 store, which really
assist
Change the verb form
assists
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 us as we do not have to put much effort
to get
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into getting
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 it.
Furthermore
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,
digital
Add an article
the digital
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 market
also
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support
Change the verb form
supports
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 the nature, since its economies of scale effectively
bundles
Change the verb form
bundle
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 the delivery into one big basket rather than divide it,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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makes
Verb problem
means
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 it
required
Wrong verb form
requires
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 less transportation fuel to distribute the item.
On the other hand
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, the
increase
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 in convenience makes people more likely to buy things that they do not really need.
This
Linking Words
 situation will likely
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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increase
Use synonyms
 waste, which will be detrimental to the people as we are using our limited resources to make
unncessary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
 items.
In addition
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, it is well known that sellers in the digital marketplace tend to do predatory pricing to
outperformed
Change the form of the verb
outperform
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 their rivals. When their competitors are gone, they will
increase
Use synonyms
 the price to cover their previous loss, much worse they will
charged
Change the verb form
charge
be charged
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 the price very expensive as customers no longer have any alternatives.
Linking Words
At
Change the preposition
In
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 the end, much of the sellers and buyers end up
at
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on
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 the losing side. In conclusion, the
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
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 of online shopping through its convenience and
environmental
Replace the word
environment
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 may
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the negative aspects related to consumerism and unsustainable pricing.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, society needs to be responsible
on
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for
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 its usage, so
Linking Words
at
Change preposition
in
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 the
end
Add a comma
end,
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 everybody will
gain
Verb problem
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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benefit from it.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to illustrate your points. Adding detailed instances can strengthen your arguments and make the essay more engaging.
task achievement
Ensure consistency in tense usage throughout the essay. For example, use 'has brought' instead of 'has bring' for accurate grammatical structure.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs by using transitional phrases more effectively. This will help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which enhances understanding and provides a structured argument.
task achievement
You have identified both advantages and disadvantages of online shopping, showing a balanced perspective.
task achievement
The essay discusses the environmental impact of online shopping, which is a thoughtful and relevant point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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