IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, student pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pays for them. Do the advantages of governments paying for fees outweigh the disadvantages.

In many countries,
students
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 pay their
tuition
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fees
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,
while
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 in other countries, the
government
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 pay the
tuition
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fees
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 for
students
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. I personally believe that
while
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 paying
tuition
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fees
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 by the
government
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 reduces the financial burdens of the
students
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, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages because
students
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 stop working. If the
government
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 pay the
tuition
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fees
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 of
students
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, it mitigates the financial pressures
of
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on
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students
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. They can fully concentrate on their studies.
Students
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 do not have to go to
work
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 and earn money. They can invest full time in their studies. It enhances their
learnings
Fix the agreement mistake
learning
show examples
 and improves their academic results.
For example
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, in Germany, university education is free for both international and local
students
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.
Therefore
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,
students
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 can relax well and give full concentration to their studies.
However
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, I personally believe that if
students
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 pay their
tuition
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fees
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, it helps them to grow
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skills
Correct pronoun usage
their skills
show examples
 because they will
work
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 to pay. If
students
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 pay their
tuition
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fees
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, they have to
work
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. Working helps to grow several
skills
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 among the
students
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. Most importantly,
students
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 can both grow
skills
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 and gain knowledge if they study and
work
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 at the same time. It will develop professionalism among them and they will easily get
jobs
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 after their graduation.
For example
Linking Words
, in Australia, both international and domestic
students
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work
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part time
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part-time
show examples
, and it helps them to secure better
jobs
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 just after their graduation.
Therefore
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, I personally believe that paying
tuition
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fees
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 helps
students
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 because they
work
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 to pay
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
fees
Use synonyms
, and increase the possibility of getting
jobs
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 after their graduation. In conclusion,
while
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tuition
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fees
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 paid by the
government
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decreases
Correct subject-verb agreement
decrease
show examples
 the financial pressures
of
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on
show examples
students
Use synonyms
, I think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages because working to pay
tuition
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fees
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 helps
students
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 to gain
skills
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 and secure
jobs
Use synonyms
 quickly.

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task achievement
Ensure the essay fully addresses both the advantages and disadvantages equally to achieve a complete response. The current essay focuses more on the disadvantages, particularly in the discussion on skills development.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing a more balanced discussion in body paragraphs with equal weight given to both perspectives. This will enhance the logical structure of the essay.
task achievement
Include additional perspectives or potential counterarguments to present a more comprehensive view.
coherence cohesion
Try to link ideas in paragraphs with clear transitions. This will improve the logical flow and cohesion between sentences and ideas.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples, such as those from Germany and Australia, to support both advantages and disadvantages, enriching the essay's relevance and specificity.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively summarize the main argument and offer a clear stance on the issue, providing good cohesion to the entire essay.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tuition fees
  • financial burden
  • social equity
  • educational access
  • class disparities
  • lower-income students
  • subsidized education
  • debt-free graduation
  • financial stability
  • consumer spending
  • educated workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • budget constraints
  • public funding
  • taxpayer
  • critical areas
  • infrastructure
What to do next:
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