These days, many children in western countries are overweight. What are the causes? What are the solutions?

#children #countries

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In Western there are

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

children

Use synonyms

which

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

have

Verb problem

are

show examples

overweight .

This

Linking Words

is mainly

due to

Linking Words

they have

unhealthy

Add an article

an unhealthy

show examples

diet and they

also

Linking Words

have a sedentary lifestyle. There are a number of solutions that can be implemented to deal with overweight .

Firstly

Linking Words

, the main reason why

this

Linking Words

issuse

Correct your spelling

issue

has occurred is that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

Use synonyms

have unhealthy

dite

Correct your spelling

diet

In other words

Linking Words

, they have junk food which

have

Verb problem

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

high in sugar as

wll

Correct your spelling

well

as fast food which

also

Linking Words

have

Verb problem

apply

show examples

high

Change preposition

show examples

calories . For

examples

Fix the agreement mistake

example

show examples

, cookies , pizza , pasta chocolate , soft drink and

chipes

Correct your spelling

chips

Secodaly

Correct your spelling

Secondly

, they lack

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

exercise most of

time

Add an article

the time

show examples

they

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

stay and watch tv

play

Wrong verb form

playing

show examples

on ipad so they

spen

Correct your spelling

spent

spend

alot of time without doing

any thing

Correct your spelling

anything

show examples

just relaxing .

This

Linking Words

is because they cannot burn

their

Change the word

the

show examples

calorise

Correct your spelling

calories

calorie

in their body so they become fat. There are two

effectives

Correct your spelling

effective

solutions to solve

this

Linking Words

problem . One way to tackle

this

Linking Words

is to ensure that their parents must

be have

Change the verb form

have

show examples

that their

children

Use synonyms

eatting

Correct your spelling

eating

healthily

such

Linking Words

as fruits , fish , meat and vegetables. By doing

this

Linking Words

they

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

weight will be

Change preposition

under

show examples

controlls

Correct your spelling

control

controls

Anthor

Correct your spelling

Another

method of dealing with

this

Linking Words

issuse

Correct your spelling

issue

is that schools should encourage

children

Use synonyms

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

exercise

Change preposition

for

show examples

one

hours

Change to a singular noun

hour

show examples

during the day.

That is

Linking Words

say

Add a comma

say,

show examples

exersises

Correct your spelling

exercise

are most important way to

Verb problem

make

show examples

thier

Correct your spelling

their

body healthy .

For instance

Linking Words

, yoga , swimming and walking.

therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

solution will help them to be in

Correct article usage

the naturall

show examples

naturall

Correct your spelling

natural

range.

To sum up

Linking Words

, healthy food and doing an

exersise

Correct your spelling

exercise

are effective in dealing with

this

Linking Words

issuse

Correct your spelling

issue

. If

thier

Correct your spelling

their

parents and schools implemented

theses

Correct your spelling

these

show examples

solutions ,

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

rate of overweight

Change preposition

apply

show examples

children

Use synonyms

would soon drop.

Submitted by s_syedy on Sun Oct 27 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Try to include more examples and explanations to support your main points.

coherence and cohesion

Be cautious about spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'dite' instead of 'diet' and 'exersises' instead of 'exercises'.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that the essay flows logically from one point to the next. Spend more time structuring arguments for clear communication.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion which helps frame the main points effectively.

task achievement

You've identified some important causes and solutions regarding the issue of overweight children, such as diet and exercise.

task achievement

Attempting to provide specific examples, such as 'chocolate, soft drink and chips', helps to clarify your points.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
46
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Obesity
Processed foods
Sedentary lifestyle
Nutrition
Caloric intake
Metabolic disorders
Physical activity
Health education
Dietary habits
Food marketing
Convenience foods
Health initiatives
Preventative measures
Body mass index (BMI)
Public health crisis
Lifestyle diseases
Healthy eating
Exercise regimen
Wellness programs
Social stigma

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These days, many children in western countries are overweight. What are the causes? What are the solutions?

Many believe that living in a city offers greater benefits compared to life in the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say companies should require all employees to wear uniforms at work. Others think it is unnecessary. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after the age of 65. However, others say there shouldn’t be a limitation on age, and anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age. Discuss both views, give your opinion and include relevant examples.

There are currently many endangered species at risk of extinction and it’s equally important to save all of them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Task 2: With growing number of populations in cities, many people are living in small homes that don’t have outdoor spaces. Is this positive or negative development?