Some high schools require all students to wear uniforms. Other high schools permit students to decide what to wear to school. Which of these two school politics de you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
In modern times, the issue of these two
school
politics has become controversial. While
it can be argued that the
all Remove the article
apply
students
who are wear uniforms
, another opinion is that the number of school
permit students
who are
wear own their choice. In Unnecessary verb
apply
this
essay, I will show that I disagree that students
should be allowed to choose their dress,
because they tend to Remove the comma
apply
undisciplined
and they should wear permanent Add a missing verb
be undisciplined
uniforms
.
Generally speaking, there are two main reasons why number
of Change the article
a number
the number
school
believe that all Change to a plural noun
schools
students
to wear uniform
because it Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
is maintain
Wrong verb form
maintains
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
discipline
. Perhaps the main reason why some school
think that all Fix the agreement mistake
schools
students
to wear uniforms
. A good illustration of this
is that every students
has Change to a singular noun
student
wear
Fix the infinitive
to wear
Correct article usage
a uniforms
uniforms
, Fix the agreement mistake
uniform
whereas
it is means do
not Verb problem
apply
underestimate
poor Wrong verb form
underestimating
students
. As a result
, It is
not only Verb problem
it
teach
us all Correct subject-verb agreement
teaches
students
are equal but also
teach
us unity.
Correct subject-verb agreement
teaches
On the other hand
, some school
order Fix the agreement mistake
schools
students
to decide what to wear to school
. A further
point in
against Correct your spelling
is
of choose
their own decision because it Wrong verb form
choosing
is
not maintain Verb problem
does
school
discipline
. Firstly
, some students
has behavior
rudely Wrong verb form
behave
other
Change preposition
to other
students
like poor students
, unintelligent students
and some students
read to poor fund. Secondly
, some students
has
underestimated other Change the verb form
have
students
. Furthermore
, some student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
has
wear expensive Unnecessary verb
apply
dress
which Fix the agreement mistake
dresses
are
parents rich. I think it is very Verb problem
make their
controversy
for Replace the word
controversial
school
discipline
.
In conclusion, this
uniform is a topic which is very
complex issue with no easy solution. I am of the opinion that all Add an article
a very
students
should wear Correct article usage
a unifrom
unifrom
. It Correct your spelling
uniform
uniforms
is teach
us unity and Change the verb form
teaches
discipline
.Submitted by shahinhasan5615 on
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by ensuring every paragraph has a clear main point and relates back to your thesis statement. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas by simplifying complex sentences and avoiding grammatical errors. This will help convey your arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential components of a well-structured argument.
task achievement
The writer attempts to address both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
task achievement
The essay maintains a mostly consistent focus on the topic of school uniforms and discipline.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example