Experts say if the old people spend time and get along with others and exercise every day will be healthier and happier. However, many elderly are suffering from loneliness and lack of fitness. Discuss the causes and solutions?

Since most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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elder
people
are suffering from loneliness and unfit conditions,
as per
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apply
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experts'
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experts
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saying
Wrong verb form
say
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they will be healthier and happier if they spend time and get
along with
others and exercise
everyday
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every day
show examples
. Here I will discuss the causes behind the present conditions of elders and put some solutions to eradicate the problem.
It is clear that
in most families elder
people
are ignored in their old age
due to
modern family structure
as well as
economical
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economic
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pressure. In modern families, parents or old
people
are ignored thinking that they would be able to take care of them
whereas
the reality is different. In old age, they want care and warmth from their closed
ones
.
For instance
, in old age
home
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homes
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people
feel
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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of their close
people
and
thus
they
keep
Verb problem
remain
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restless and feel unhappy.
On the other hand
,
need
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the need
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of
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for
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high income and
economical
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economic
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pressure makes younger
ones
to
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apply
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ignore their elder family members as they do not get enough time to spend with them. Nowadays, most of the children leave their parents or
elder
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older
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ones
willingly or unwillingly.
As a consequence
, those elders are feeling lonely and lacking
from
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in
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fitness. To solve
this
issue, at
first,
family
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the family
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structure should be refined and children should look after their elder family members.
Beside
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Besides
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this
, elder
people
should attend old
club
Fix the agreement mistake
clubs
show examples
and get
along with
their friends and neighbours so that they can do fun things together and enjoy their lives. In conclusion, it can be mentioned that
modernized
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a modernized
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family and
spike
Correct article usage
a spike
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of high income pressure are the causes for the loneliness and unfit condition of elders. To cope
this
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with this
show examples
up
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apply
show examples
, family members should spend time together
as well as
elder
Correct your spelling
older
show examples
ones
should meet with others to build up their comfort zones.
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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