Experts say if the old people spend time and get along with others and exercise every day will be healthier and happier. However, many elderly are suffering from loneliness and lack of fitness. Discuss the causes and solutions?

#experts #people #time #exercise #loneliness #lack #fitness

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Since most

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apply

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

elder

people

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are suffering from loneliness and unfit conditions,

as per

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apply

show examples

experts'

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experts

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saying

Wrong verb form

say

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they will be healthier and happier if they spend time and get

along with

Linking Words

others and exercise

everyday

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every day

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. Here I will discuss the causes behind the present conditions of elders and put some solutions to eradicate the problem.

It is clear that

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in most families elder

people

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are ignored in their old age

due to

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modern family structure

as well as

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economical

Replace the word

economic

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pressure. In modern families, parents or old

people

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are ignored thinking that they would be able to take care of them

whereas

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the reality is different. In old age, they want care and warmth from their closed

ones

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For instance

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, in old age

home

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homes

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people

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feel

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

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of their close

people

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and

thus

Linking Words

they

keep

Verb problem

remain

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restless and feel unhappy.

On the other hand

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need

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the need

show examples

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for

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high income and

economical

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economic

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pressure makes younger

ones

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Fix the infinitive

apply

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ignore their elder family members as they do not get enough time to spend with them. Nowadays, most of the children leave their parents or

elder

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older

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ones

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willingly or unwillingly.

As a consequence

Linking Words

, those elders are feeling lonely and lacking

from

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fitness. To solve

this

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issue, at

first,

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family

Add an article

the family

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structure should be refined and children should look after their elder family members.

Beside

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Besides

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this

Linking Words

, elder

people

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should attend old

club

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clubs

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and get

along with

Linking Words

their friends and neighbours so that they can do fun things together and enjoy their lives. In conclusion, it can be mentioned that

modernized

Correct article usage

a modernized

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family and

spike

Correct article usage

a spike

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of high income pressure are the causes for the loneliness and unfit condition of elders. To cope

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this

Change preposition

with this

show examples

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apply

show examples

, family members should spend time together

as well as

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elder

Correct your spelling

older

show examples

ones

Use synonyms

should meet with others to build up their comfort zones.

Submitted by writing9common on Sun Oct 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to enhance clarity by organizing your points more distinctly, ensuring each paragraph has a clear focus or topic sentence.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to support your points, which will reflect a deeper understanding and relevance.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain a logical sequence across your essay.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion that address the main points of the essay.

task achievement

The essay addresses the main causes of the issue adequately and proposes appropriate solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

294 words

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Experts say if the old people spend time and get along with others and exercise every day will be healthier and happier. However, many elderly are suffering from loneliness and lack of fitness. Discuss the causes and solutions?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, many people prefer to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reason for this? Do you think it is a positve or negative development?

When international media (including movies, fashion shows, advertisements and other TV programs) convey the same messages to the global audience, people argue that the expansion of international media has negative impacts on cultural diversity, what is your opinion?

Some people think that governments should invest mainly in making public transportation faster while other think there are more important priorities (cost, the environment). Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to increase fuel costs for cars and other means of transportation. Do you agree or disagree?