Experts say if the old people spend time and get along with others and exercise every day will be healthier and happier. However, many elderly are suffering from loneliness and lack of fitness. Discuss the causes and solutions?
Since most
of
Change preposition
apply
the
elder Correct article usage
apply
people
are suffering from loneliness and unfit conditions, as per
Change preposition
apply
experts'
Change noun form
experts
saying
they will be healthier and happier if they spend time and get Wrong verb form
say
along with
others and exercise everyday
. Here I will discuss the causes behind the present conditions of elders and put some solutions to eradicate the problem.
Replace the word
every day
It is clear that
in most families elder people
are ignored in their old age due to
modern family structure as well as
economical
pressure. In modern families, parents or old Replace the word
economic
people
are ignored thinking that they would be able to take care of them whereas
the reality is different. In old age, they want care and warmth from their closed ones
. For instance
, in old age home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
people
feel lack
of their close Correct article usage
a lack
people
and thus
they keep
restless and feel unhappy.
Verb problem
remain
On the other hand
, need
Add an article
the need
of
high income and Change preposition
for
economical
pressure makes younger Replace the word
economic
ones
to
ignore their elder family members as they do not get enough time to spend with them. Nowadays, most of the children leave their parents or Fix the infinitive
apply
elder
Correct your spelling
older
ones
willingly or unwillingly. As a consequence
, those elders are feeling lonely and lacking from
fitness.
To solve Change preposition
in
this
issue, at first,
family
structure should be refined and children should look after their elder family members. Add an article
the family
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
this
, elder people
should attend old club
and get Fix the agreement mistake
clubs
along with
their friends and neighbours so that they can do fun things together and enjoy their lives.
In conclusion, it can be mentioned that modernized
family and Correct article usage
a modernized
spike
of high income pressure are the causes for the loneliness and unfit condition of elders. To cope Correct article usage
a spike
this
Change preposition
with this
up
, family members should spend time together Change preposition
apply
as well as
elder
Correct your spelling
older
ones
should meet with others to build up their comfort zones.Submitted by writing9common on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance clarity by organizing your points more distinctly, ensuring each paragraph has a clear focus or topic sentence.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points, which will reflect a deeper understanding and relevance.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain a logical sequence across your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that address the main points of the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the main causes of the issue adequately and proposes appropriate solutions.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.