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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In a number countries, some people think that it is necessary to spend large sum of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Other belives that the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

Here’s a Band 9 response for
this
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 prompt, showcasing a balanced argument, nuanced language, and a sophisticated structure. In many countries, there is ongoing debate about whether it is better to invest heavily in high-speed
rail
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 infrastructure connecting major
cities
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 or to allocate funds toward improving existing public
transport
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systems
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.
Both
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 viewpoints present compelling arguments, as each has
unique
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the unique
a unique
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 potential to enhance urban mobility and economic development.
This
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 essay will discuss
both
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 perspectives and present my opinion that a balanced approach, prioritizing high-speed
rail
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 in select regions
while
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 upgrading current
transport
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, is the most beneficial. Proponents of constructing new high-speed railway lines argue that these projects can significantly boost intercity connectivity, reducing travel time and promoting economic integration. High-speed trains can transform how people commute, enabling greater workforce mobility and reducing regional disparities.
For example
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, countries like Japan and France have demonstrated that efficient high-speed
rail
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systems
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,
such
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 as the Shinkansen and TGV, facilitate business interactions between
cities
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, stimulate tourism, and ease congestion on roads.
Such
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 infrastructure investments can
also
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 contribute to environmental goals by shifting
travelers
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travellers
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 from cars and planes to a more sustainable, lower-emission mode of
transport
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.
Therefore
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, supporters believe that high-speed
rail
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 represents a long-term solution to
both
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 environmental and economic challenges.
On the other hand
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, some believe that funds should be directed toward upgrading existing public
transport
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systems
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 rather than investing in high-speed
rail
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, which might not serve the needs of the general population. Improving current buses, trams, and metro
systems
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 within
cities
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 can have a more immediate and widespread impact, particularly for daily commuters. In many
cities
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, public
transport
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 infrastructure is outdated, unreliable, and overburdened, leading to increased road congestion and pollution. By enhancing these
systems
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, governments can directly improve the quality of life for millions, providing faster, cleaner, and more accessible
transport
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 options.
Additionally
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, improving local
transport
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 is often more cost-effective than building new high-speed
rail
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 lines, which may only serve a small portion of the population who travel between
cities
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. In my view, a balanced investment approach that incorporates
both
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 perspectives would be most effective. High-speed
rail
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 should be developed in areas where it can maximize economic and social benefits,
such
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 as densely populated regions with substantial intercity travel demand.
For example
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, connecting megacities or economic hubs with fast trains could help alleviate air traffic, reduce carbon emissions, and enhance regional connectivity. Simultaneously, investments in upgrading existing urban
transport
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systems
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 should not be neglected, as these are essential for reducing traffic congestion, improving air quality, and supporting daily commuters. By combining these strategies, governments can address
both
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 local and intercity
transport
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 needs, leading to a more integrated and sustainable transportation network. In conclusion,
while
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 high-speed
rail
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 offers significant benefits in terms of regional connectivity and environmental impact, improving local public
transport
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 remains crucial for meeting the daily needs of urban populations. A balanced approach, with targeted investments in
both
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 areas, would provide the most comprehensive solution to current and future transportation challenges.

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enhancement
Consider exploring the perspectives with an even wider variety of examples across different regions to further demonstrate the global applicability of your points.
enhancement
For even greater depth, you could delve into any potential drawbacks of a balanced approach, giving the essay critical depth.
structure
The essay presents a well-structured and logical argument, beginning with a clear introduction and ending with a decisive conclusion.
examples
Each of the main points is elaborated on and supported with specific examples, such as the Shinkansen and TGV, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.
discussion
Well-balanced discussion of both perspectives before presenting your opinion, showing a nuanced understanding of the complexities involved.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • sustainable development
  • environmentally friendly
  • cost-effective
  • public transport
  • maintenance issues
  • demographic
  • modernization
  • accessibility
  • commuters
  • traffic congestion
  • private vehicles
  • urban
  • rural
  • balanced approach
  • transportation needs
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