IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Write about the following topic: Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#topic #university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Every student has the prospect of studying in university to a particular subject, but some
students
 are
also
 interested in other
subjects
 including their main subject.
On the other hand
, others claimed that it is essential to cut an enhanced qualification, they should provide their full period and concentration at a time.
This
 essay will demonstrate both sides in support of my standpoint. There are several reasons why
students
 are towards it.
To begin
 with, learning other
subjects
 can boost their knowledge. In detail, if
students
 are confined to their main
subjects
, they cannot be able to participate in several sectors
such
 as the job market. If they relate to these
subjects
 like science, arts and business, they will have a variety of opportunities, especially in the current time, which provide them enhanced careers. As opposed to, the more we learn about a subject, the more complex it becomes. When they focus on their major
subjects
, they are arriving in depth. Gaining in-depth, specialist knowledge requires a certain focus which needs more focus and dedication. But if they want to learn more
subjects
 that can create complexity and cannot go in depth at a time.
As a result
, it creates a destruction which tends to hinder their professional
subjects
.
To conclude
, both sides have advantages and disadvantages. But, the benefits of
this
 trend outweigh the drawbacks. By learning other
subjects
students
 should give priority to their major
subjects
.
Submitted by nazmulrafi023 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to support your points with specific examples to strengthen your argument. This helps in illustrating your points clearly and makes the essay more engaging.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant points. Avoid mixing different ideas in the same paragraph to enhance clarity.
task achievement
To achieve a higher task response score, fully address all parts of the task by balancing the discussion of both views with a more detailed explanation of your own opinion.
task achievement
The essay successfully presents both views on the topic, providing a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main ideas of the essay, effectively framing the discussion.
coherence cohesion
You use appropriate linking words that help connect ideas and maintain the flow of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: