Nowadays people are moving to other countries for seeking job.some people think it affects the childrens of such home negatively While someothers rhink it is beneficial to them. Discuss both sides and state your opinion.

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In
this
Linking Words

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contemporary world, more and more people emigrate in order to find better
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs

It seems that job may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. Some people
believed
Wrong verb form
believe

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb believed. Consider changing it.

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that it has disadvantages for children of these families.
While
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otheres
Correct your spelling
others

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, Myself included, subscribe to the view that
this
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is beneficial for their children. On the one hand, it is said that emigration could bring about negative consequences for
childern
Correct your spelling
children

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because they get away from the environment which they are used to. Changing the environment which is not familiar
for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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them could frighten them.
Forthermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore

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,
another challenges
Replace the adjective
another challenge
other challenges

The adjective another appears to be modifying the plural noun challenges. Consider replacing it with the adjective other.

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childern
Correct your spelling
children

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could face is
language
Add an article
the language
a language

The noun phrase language barrier seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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barrier. They might not be good enough in the
langouage
Correct your spelling
language

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of
new
Correct article usage
the new

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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country،
therefore
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, finding friends could be a huge problem for them.
For example
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, most of the youngsters who live in Iran are not familiar with the other languages and when they move to another country with their parents they hardly can find
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends

It seems that friend may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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there.
On the other hand
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, moving to another country
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives

It seems that the verb give does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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children an opportunity to see other cultures and learn from them. They can find friends from
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different

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cultures and be
involve
Change the form of the verb
involved

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb involve. Consider changing it.

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with their positive and even negative behaviours,
hence
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, they can develop their personality and behaviours.
Moreover
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, when families move to other countries for better job opportunities, the financial
circomstances
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circumstances

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become better for the family.
Subsequently
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, parents can provide better facilities for their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring

It seems that offsprings may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. To illustrate, caregivers in better financial
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations

It seems that situation may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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can enroll their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring

It seems that offsprings may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in some
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level

It appears that high level is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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schools. In conclusion, some people think that moving to
another countries
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries

The adjective another appears to be modifying the plural noun countries. Consider replacing it with the adjective other.

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can have some negative impacts on them
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems

It seems that problem may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in finding friends
due to
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

language
Correct article usage
the language

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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barrier and their scare of the new place.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I agree with those who believe the better financial situation of the parents and the opportunity for them to learn and involve with other cultures, are more beneficial for them.
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For example, you can discuss how children adapt to new environments over time with real-world examples or studies.
task achievement
Ensure consistent use of language throughout the essay to improve clarity and reduce errors. Pay attention to the spelling and grammar.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that frames the essay well.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which is very important for this type of task.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are organized logically, which makes it easier for the reader to understand your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Exposure
  • Diverse cultures
  • Broadened perspectives
  • Emotional stress
  • Adjusting
  • Identity confusion
  • Disconnection
  • Support systems
  • Mitigate
  • Economic necessity
  • Career advancement
  • Integrate
  • Adapt
  • Transition
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