Nowadays people are moving to other countries for seeking job.some people think it affects the childrens of such home negatively While someothers rhink it is beneficial to them. Discuss both sides and state your opinion.
In
this
contemporary world, more and more people emigrate in order to find better job
. Some people Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
believed
that it has disadvantages for children of these families. Wrong verb form
believe
While
otheres
, Myself included, subscribe to the view that Correct your spelling
others
this
is beneficial for their children.
On the one hand, it is said that emigration could bring about negative consequences for childern
because they get away from the environment which they are used to. Changing the environment which is not familiar Correct your spelling
children
for
them could frighten them. Change preposition
to
Forthermore
, Correct your spelling
Furthermore
another challenges
Replace the adjective
another challenge
other challenges
childern
could face is Correct your spelling
children
language
barrier. They might not be good enough in the Add an article
the language
a language
langouage
of Correct your spelling
language
new
country، Correct article usage
the new
therefore
, finding friends could be a huge problem for them. For example
, most of the youngsters who live in Iran are not familiar with the other languages and when they move to another country with their parents they hardly can find friend
there.
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
On the other hand
, moving to another country give
children an opportunity to see other cultures and learn from them. They can find friends from Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
diffrent
cultures and be Correct your spelling
different
involve
with their positive and even negative behaviours, Change the form of the verb
involved
hence
, they can develop their personality and behaviours. Moreover
, when families move to other countries for better job opportunities, the financial circomstances
become better for the family. Correct your spelling
circumstances
Subsequently
, parents can provide better facilities for their offsprings
. To illustrate, caregivers in better financial Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
situation
can enroll their Fix the agreement mistake
situations
offsprings
in some Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
high level
schools.
In conclusion, some people think that moving to Add a hyphen
high-level
another countries
can have some negative impacts on them Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
such
as problem
in finding friends Fix the agreement mistake
problems
due to
language
barrier and their scare of the new place. Correct article usage
the language
However
, I agree with those who believe the better financial situation of the parents and the opportunity for them to learn and involve with other cultures, are more beneficial for them.Submitted by rezaei.rezvan94 on
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For example, you can discuss how children adapt to new environments over time with real-world examples or studies.
task achievement
Ensure consistent use of language throughout the essay to improve clarity and reduce errors. Pay attention to the spelling and grammar.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that frames the essay well.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which is very important for this type of task.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are organized logically, which makes it easier for the reader to understand your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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