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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many countries, people have children later in life than in the past. What are the causes of this? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In contemporary society, there is a growing tendency for
people
Use synonyms
 in many countries to have
children
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 later in life compared to previous generations.
This
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 trend is largely influenced by social, financial, and personal factors.
This
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 essay will discuss the main reasons behind
this
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 development and will evaluate whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. One of the most significant reasons for delayed parenthood is career development. In the modern world, a considerable number of young adults prioritise higher education and professional growth, which often requires several years of study and work experience. To illustrate
this
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, many
people
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 in countries
such
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 as Germany and Japan tend to start families after completing higher education and establishing stable careers. Another important factor is financial pressure. Raising a child involves substantial costs, including healthcare, education, and everyday expenses.
For example
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, in the United States, the estimated cost of raising a child to adulthood exceeds $200,000, encouraging couples to postpone parenthood until they feel financially secure.
Therefore
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, career goals and economic considerations are major reasons why
people
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 choose to have
children
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 later in life. Having
children
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 later in life
also
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 has notable advantages. Older parents usually possess higher levels of emotional maturity and financial stability, which allow them to provide a more comfortable environment and better opportunities for their
children
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.
However
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, there are some disadvantages as well. Older mothers may face increased health risks during pregnancy, and parents may have less energy to engage in physically demanding activities with their
children
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.
Nevertheless
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, advances in modern medicine have reduced many of these risks, and most late pregnancies are monitored carefully.
Overall
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, the advantages of financial stability and emotional readiness outweigh the potential disadvantages. In conclusion,
people
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 delay having
children
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 mainly because of career ambitions and financial considerations.
Although
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 there are some drawbacks associated with later parenthood, the benefits of stability and maturity make
this
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 trend a positive development in modern society.

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planning
Plan more. Write a short map first, with the main reason and a fact or example for each.
coherence
Make the topic sentence clear at the start of each paragraph.
structure
Add stronger links to show how ideas fit, and give a clear view at the end.
examples
Use more precise evidence, such as numbers or real studies, to back up the points.
language
Keep the words simple and fix any small grammar issues.
structure
The essay has a clear start, body, and end.
content
It gives real examples to show the reasons and the good side.
idea
The idea that grown up parents may give steady life to kids is clear.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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