Some school children buy healthy food from the school cafeteria. However, some buy unhealthy food. What are the reasons for both these situations? Should schools be allowed to sell unhealthy food?
There is no denying the fact that children's
food
is a very importent
thing for Correct your spelling
important
them
health there Change the pronoun
their
is
two Change the verb form
are
teyps
of Correct your spelling
types
type
chlidren
fist one Correct your spelling
children
prefar
healthy Correct your spelling
prefer
food
and other
like unhealthy Correct article usage
the other
food
, as we know kids spend more than 5 houer
at Correct your spelling
hours
hour
scool
we need to fouce on them Correct your spelling
school
food
at school. This
essay will discusse
Correct your spelling
discuss
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
of
both these situations and if Change preposition
for
schools
can be allowed to sell unhealthy food
. There is
many reasons for both Change the verb form
are
side
. Change to a plural noun
sides
Firstly
food
is playing
a significant role Wrong verb form
plays
on
Change preposition
in
children
Change noun form
children's
body
and health, in Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
other word
, when Change the wording
another word
other words
thay
like to eat healthy Correct your spelling
they
food
it is become reflected on
Change preposition
in
them
Change the pronoun
their
body
and the mind. Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
In addition
, kids how
eat and like unhealthy Correct word choice
who
food
will be after
Change preposition
apply
a
Correct article usage
apply
while
on
a bad mood, Change preposition
in
no
energy and can not focus on Add a missing verb
have no
them
classes and education side Change the pronoun
their
for example
, there is alot
of students Correct your spelling
a lot
are
drinking energy drinks Correct pronoun usage
who are
evry
day Correct your spelling
every
thay
Correct your spelling
that
thing
it is a good to focus and study. In terms of, should Correct your spelling
think
schools
be allowed to sell unheathy
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
food
in my opinon
Correct your spelling
opinion
i
think no Change the capitalization
I
schools
should only sell healthy food
becouse
when kids see Correct your spelling
because
food
thay
like Correct your spelling
they
thay
can not make Correct your spelling
they
balnce
and Correct your spelling
balance
thay
will eat, it is Correct your spelling
they
also
possible to say that schools
can make heathy
Correct your spelling
healthy
food
in fun
and interesting way to make children eat Add an article
a fun
them
Change the pronoun
their
food
for intance
, Correct your spelling
instance
thay
can make Correct your spelling
they
party
. In conclusion, there Add an article
the party
a party
is
many Correct subject-verb agreement
are
opnion
Correct your spelling
opinions
of
Change preposition
about
food
, it is also
true that schools
need to sell heathy
Correct your spelling
healthy
food
.Submitted by mona11omar33 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and logical structure, focus on organizing your ideas more clearly. Ensure that each paragraph discusses a single point and has a clear topic sentence.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more linking words and phrases to create better transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will help readers follow your arguments more easily.
task achievement
Make sure your main points are well-supported with specific examples or evidence. This will strengthen your argument and fulfill the task requirements more effectively.
task achievement
Clarify your arguments by developing them more fully with detailed explanations. This will help convey your ideas more clearly to the reader.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the issue, discussing reasons for both healthy and unhealthy eating habits among school children.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame the essay.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address the issue of whether schools should sell unhealthy food, showing engagement with the task.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite