#Crime | #Education - In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solution can you suggest?

Most countries'
schools
have
gready
Correct your spelling
greedy
issues with pupils' attitude. In general, there are several causes why
youngesters'
Correct your spelling
youngsters
manner
Fix the agreement mistake
manners
show examples
are problematic across the world. I will elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
prospect
Change noun form
prospect's
show examples
reasons and solutions in
this
essay. There are a number of reasons why the modern age's children are acting inappropriately because the latest improvements in educating methods have led to
Correct article usage
an undisciplinized
show examples
undisciplinized
Correct your spelling
undisciplined
atmosphere in
schools
. In the past, as
opposite
Replace the word
opposed
show examples
to the recent years; people had more restricted rules
while
they were raising
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a child.
For instance
,
parents
and lecturers have used physical
punisments
Correct your spelling
punishments
punishment
in order to harness young people.
As a result
of
this
sentencing, they have become more well-mannered
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
both places.
However
, in
this
age,
this
method
does
Verb problem
is
show examples
not acceptable by authorities and
parents
due to
the modern perspectives.
Moreover
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
today, not only
physical
Add an article
the physical
show examples
force but
pshycological
Correct your spelling
psychological
pressure
also
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not permitted by charities or
Correct article usage
the governement
show examples
governement
Correct your spelling
government
. To overcome
these crisis
Change the determiner
this crisis
these crises
show examples
in
schools
, authorities should take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
immediately nearly at every
places
Change to a singular noun
place
show examples
.
For instance
, they may inform families how they should act properly to their
adolescants
Correct your spelling
adolescents
adolescence
. Since puberty issues can
detoriate
Correct your spelling
deteriorate
children'
Change noun form
children's
show examples
self-confidence and cognitive abilities,
parents
should be more
awere
Correct your spelling
aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
these aspects.
Moreover
, they might spend time with their
youngesters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
;
therefore
,
parents
can show how children could improve their attitudes
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
positively. In conclusion, it is a common fact that many people suffer from students'
manner
Fix the agreement mistake
manners
show examples
while
they are educating them in
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
. In
this
essay, when possible reasons and and solutions were evaluated,
it is clear that
authorities and charities have a huge
responsible
Replace the word
responsibility
show examples
to handle these issues.
Submitted by canselldemiir on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples that illustrate your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
There are several spelling and grammar errors that can be corrected to improve clarity and professionalism. For example, "youngesters'" should be "youngsters'" and "undisciplinized" should be "undisciplined."
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each sentence clearly connects to the next to improve flow. Some transitions between sentences and ideas could be smoother.
introduction conclusion present
The essay clearly states the introduction and conclusion, maintaining a consistent focus on the topic throughout.
task achievement
You describe some of the root causes of the problem and propose solutions, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • aggressive behavior
  • indiscipline
  • overcrowded
  • cyberbullying
  • interactive teaching methods
  • reward systems
  • parental involvement
  • classroom management
  • effectively
What to do next:
Look at other essays: