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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays some people choose to live in the city while other chooses to stay in the countryside. What are the the advantages and disadvantages of city living over living in the countryside?

#people #city #countryside
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These days, some
people
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 prefer to live in the
city
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while
Linking Words
 others prefer to live in the countryside. The benefits of living in a
city
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 are numerous
opportunities
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 and
modern
Correct article usage
a modern
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 lifestyle. The drawbacks of living in a
city
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 are numerous pollution and
traffic
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 congestion. The primary benefit of living in a
city
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 is it offers a lot of
opportunities
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. Those who live in a
city
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 can explore
lot
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a lot
show examples
 of
opportunities
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 like better educational
facilities
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, employment
opportunities
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,
modern
Correct article usage
a modern
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 healthcare system and many more.
People
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 explore those
opportunities
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 and develop their lives and careers.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
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city
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the city
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 provides modern lifestyle
facilities
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 which are attractive. Shopping malls, parks, restaurants,
different
Correct word choice
and different
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 kinds of entertainment
facilities
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 make
city
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 life enjoyable.
For example
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,
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city
Correct article usage
the city
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 of Melbourne provides a range of entertainment options,
therefore
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,
this
Linking Words
city
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 is loved by its inhabitants. One of the biggest drawbacks of living in the
city
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 is pollution. Industrialization makes cities polluted and not appropriate for living. Because of water, air, and sound
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
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,
city
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 inhabitants suffer from several diseases.
In addition
Linking Words
,
traffic
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 jam is another problem
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
city
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. Every day,
city
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people
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 experience
traffic
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jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
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 on the roads, especially during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peak hours. It consumes a significant amount of their valuable time.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Dhaka, the capital of Bangladesh, every day
while
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 going to their work,
people
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 get stuck
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
traffic
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jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 for at least 3 hours, which kills their precious time. In conclusion, living in a
city
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 offers lots of
opportunities
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 and entertainment
facilities
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 which help to build lives.
However
Linking Words
, cities are polluted and
conjested
Correct your spelling
congested
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
, which
cause
Change the verb form
causes
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 diseases and
kill
Change the verb form
kills
show examples
 valuable time.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
Ensure to thoroughly expand on each point with evidence or examples where appropriate.
coherence cohesion
Try to include transitional words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion of both city and countryside living.
introduction conclusion present
You have provided a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points well.
logical structure
The essay is organized well into clear sections dealing with the advantages and disadvantages.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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