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Band 4.5

Learning a foreign language offers an insight into how people from other cultures think and see the world. The teaching of foreign language should be compulsory at all primary school. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#language #insight #people #cultures #world #school
One of the most pressing issues in modern society is learning a foreign
language
 which is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 important of our studies agent. It has been suggested that the number of foreign
language
Change to a plural noun
languages
show examples
 which is teaching compulsory at all primary
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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. To my mind, I think
this
 is a partially positive trend and other cultures think and see the world. From an
overall
 perspective, there are two main reasons why people believe that foreign
language
 should be compulsory.
Firstly
,
Correct article usage
a
show examples
foreign
language
 is
an
Change the article
apply
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important for every person because it is an international
language
such
 as English,
Spanis
Correct your spelling
Spanish
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 and
native
Correct article usage
a native
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language
.
Secondly
, Every school has permitted to
forign
Correct your spelling
foreign
language
 should be necessary at all primary
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
. A good illustration of
this
 is that every
students
Change to a singular noun
student
show examples
do
Verb problem
should
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 learn
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
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language
and
Correct word choice
so
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 they will not suffer
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 other countries. It
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not only
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students but
also
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
countries.
On the other hand
, there are several
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
 against foreign
language
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languages
show examples
 A
further
 argument for
think
Wrong verb form
thinking
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 of
cultural
Replace the word
culture
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 and
see
Wrong verb form
seeing
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 the world.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 A
students
Change the noun form
student
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 is teaching
foreign
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a foreign
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language
 who
is know
Change the verb form
knows
show examples
 their
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
education system,
Correct word choice
and cultural
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cultural
Replace the word
culture
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.
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
,
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
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 information, and so on.
As a result
, a learner will go to overseas who is not
problem
Correct article usage
a problem
show examples
 foreign
language
. If a student learning
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
, he will not face any
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 like, like he
speak
Change the verb form
speaks
show examples
fuleantly
Correct your spelling
fluently
. In conclusion, foreign
language
 is an issue which will continue to demand our attention
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
significant
Correct word choice
near
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 future.
However
, I feel that the best way to
slove
Correct your spelling
solve
show examples
this
 issue is by learning
Correct article usage
a foreing
show examples
foreing
Correct your spelling
foreign
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
. If the authorities
this
Add a missing verb
have this
show examples
 policy, it will provide a better life for future
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
.
Submitted by shahinhasan5615 on

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task achievement
Ensure that main points are supported with relevant and specific examples or arguments. This will strengthen the essay's persuasive power and clarity.
task achievement
Provide a more comprehensive and nuanced response to the statement. Consider discussing potential downsides or challenges to compulsory foreign language education.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow and clarity of individual paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, coherent idea.
coherence cohesion
Use clear topic sentences and linking phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion and summarizing the main points.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates awareness of the broader benefits of learning a foreign language, such as cultural understanding and enhanced international communication.

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