Some people believe that starting school at an earlier age is very beneficial for children,while others believe that children must stay home and attend to school at the age of 7. In your opinion,what are the advantages of attending school before the age of 7

Education has an important role in
molding
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moulding
show examples
children
to be the best version of themselves. It helps them to understand the things that cannot be easily explained at home by their parents and it should start at
their
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a
show examples
young
age
. Whilst, other
people
has
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have
show examples
strongly
agree
Change the verb form
agreed
show examples
that
children
should attend
school
at the
age
of 7, I believe that it is more
advantegous
Correct your spelling
advantageous
for the
children
as well as
their parents to bring their
children
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
school
before the
age
of 7.
Firstly
, attending
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
age
like 4,5 or 6 years old will
mold
Change the spelling
mould
show examples
the
childrens'
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children's
show examples
interest in
school
as it will help them familiarize
Correct pronoun usage
themselves to
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the scenario usually done at
school
.
For example
, a child who was brought to
school
early has a positive acceptance
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
the situation happening in the
school
as they were more comfortable and not shy to deal
Change preposition
with anthing
show examples
anthing
Correct your spelling
anything
that has something to do with their learning.
Secondly
,
children
who attended
school
before the
age
of 7 become more sociable as they are exposed early to different
people
at
school
.
For example
,
children
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
likely
Fix the infinitive
to stays
show examples
stays
Correct subject-verb agreement
stay
show examples
at home and just meet few
people
during their early years which
Wrong verb form
results
show examples
resulted
Add the preposition
resulted in
resulted from
show examples
them to be not sociable with other
people
, but, when they attend
school
before the
age
of 7 they will be comfortable
Correct word choice
and sorrounded
show examples
sorrounded
Correct your spelling
surrounded
by other
people
. In conclusion, attending
school
before the
age
of 7 will be more advantageous to students to become more independent and sociable, which helps them to grow for
better
Correct article usage
the better
show examples
and not
afraid
Add a missing verb
be afraid
show examples
what
Change preposition
of what
show examples
will come
along
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their way.
Submitted by rodadoctor2 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay clearly presents an introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the arguments presented.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt, addressing both sides of the issue briefly before stating a personal position.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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