Some people say that now we can see films on our phones and tabletd there is no need to go to the cinema. Others says that to fully enjoy, go to cinema. Discuss both views and provide your opinion?

Almost half of the population believes that

money

plays a crucial role when considering a

job

while

others think the opposite .

This

essay will explore both dimensions with rational explanations and concrete instances and shape my opinion on the matter by the end . On the one hand , people think a good package in a

job

is really important to live a better lifestyle . In

this

contemporary era, it's really hard to survive without

money

,if you have

money

everyone will be around you . Nobody cares about you if you are broke even your family

that is

the harsh reality of

this

world .

Moreover

due to

rapid inflation prices of everything

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

skyrocketing so for

survival

Add a comma

survival,

show examples

you need a good-earning

job

On the other hand

, some people believe that

money

is not everything you need

Change preposition

for a

show examples

job

which you enjoy doing.

For instance

, in a survey, it was found that 90% of people live longer and happier lives

who

Correct word choice

and

show examples

enjoy their work rather than working for only

money

Moreover

,if an employee is happy about the

job

progress of that company going to way higher or same like high paying companies . In my opinion , I am a little more towards

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

high-paying jobs because in the

end

Add a comma

end,

show examples

money

matters to live a peaceful and healthy lifestyle . If you got the wealth happiness will be wandering around you .

However

, peace at the

job

or doing a

job

you enjoy

also

plays a significant role in life .

Submitted by jashanheir975 on Mon Oct 28 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Consider providing more detailed examples or evidence to support your arguments. For instance, specific scenarios or statistics can enhance the strength of your points.

coherence cohesion

Work on refining transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay. This can help in clearly leading the reader through your argument.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your personal opinion is clearly linked to the arguments presented, and consider elaborating further on why you prioritize high-paying jobs.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction clearly sets out both sides of the argument and states your intention to form an opinion.

task achievement

You acknowledged different perspectives and attempted to balance them, which enriches the discussion.

introduction conclusion present

Your conclusion summarizes the discussion and presents your opinion, which helps the reader understand your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people think that children should be homeschooled when they are very young while others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten. Which do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It argued that homeschooling for the toddlers is the best option in comparison with send them to the kindergarten. In my personal opinion, attending actual kindergarten is the best option for children in their early childhood for two main reasons. First, conventional kindergarten is much more efficient in budget. Then, the needs for socialization which an important factor for youngster mental development only can be fulfilled by attending kindergarten.
5
band
Some suggest than young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the itadvantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.
Nowadays, starting an occupation on the accurate time is one of the most significant issues among the youth; there is a group who opines that mature students ought to have a temporary job during their education period in schools and colleges. Taking such action will bear some drawbacks and positive points, all of which will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
6.5
band
Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be build instead. Do you agree or disagree?
In contemporary urban planning, the debate between utilizing vacant areas in cities and towns for planting trees or building housing facilities is highly contentious. While both perspectives have their merits, I strongly believe that planting trees should be prioritized in these spaces due to the significant environmental and social benefits they offer.
5
band
A lot of people believe that the amount of violence shown on TV and in the cinema affects the actions of our young people and therefore increases the amount of violence in our society today. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? What can be done to reduce violence in our society today?
Violence on television and in computer games has been a matter of different opinions, some people think that it influencespeople's behaviour with a damaging effect on the population. Others disagree with such a statement, they believe that these factors do not have a significant consequence on society. In my opinion, everything shown on television and in computer games have some level of influence on some individuals, but not in society, the people´s behaviou does not depend on what those influences could bring to a person, instead it depends on all the things that surround people’s education, such as family, schools, friends, and so on.
7
band
Some people think that only government can make significant changes in society, while others think that individuals have a lot of influence. What is your opinions?
Many people nowadays stand in the position that the author of a nation has an important role in altering the social circumstance, notwithstanding, many people have contradictions in individual roles. Nevertheless, in my point of view, people's power as citizens has an equal value to the government and can severely impact the regulations and social structures.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones and tabletd there is no need to go to the cinema. Others says that to fully enjoy, go to cinema. Discuss both views and provide your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Some people think that children should be homeschooled when they are very young while others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten. Which do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some suggest than young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the itadvantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be build instead. Do you agree or disagree?

A lot of people believe that the amount of violence shown on TV and in the cinema affects the actions of our young people and therefore increases the amount of violence in our society today. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? What can be done to reduce violence in our society today?

Some people think that only government can make significant changes in society, while others think that individuals have a lot of influence. What is your opinions?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+