IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue can be solved?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is a fact that the members of flora and fauna are diminishing in several domains.
This
Linking Words
 shift is closely tied to
pollution
Use synonyms
 and deforestation.
However
Linking Words
, there are measures to be taken in order to tackle
this
Linking Words
 highly important problem. In a
word
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
that is
Linking Words
 constantly developing, environmental issues have reached critical issues in the
last
Linking Words
 decade. In
this
Linking Words
 context, plants and animals have been the most deteriorated living beings. On account of industrial
pollution
Use synonyms
, numerous toxic materials are being released
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the water, the
athmosphere
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
, and the soil. These toxins and related diseases are
threat
Add an article
a threat
show examples
 to organic life. Unfortunately,
this
Linking Words
 is not the only issue
that is
Linking Words
 created by humans.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 forests, which are home to animals, are being destroyed rapidly; whether for wood
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or for mining. Consider the
Rain Forests
Correct your spelling
Rainforests
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
South America.
While
Linking Words
 it was home to over 5 million types of animal, nearly 30% of both animal and plant population was decreased, after being cut for several reasons. Even though all
those
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 damage has been done, it is not irreversible. Our technology made us able to combat
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 problems.
For instance
Linking Words
, in order to hinder
pollution
Use synonyms
 issues, factories may use more effective filter systems. Being expensive, most of the establishments avoid filtration systems. By implementing mandatory rules, the government can resolve
this
Linking Words
 challenge.
Moreover
Linking Words
, by utilizing recyclable materials, the consumption of wooden materials can be diminished.
Also
Linking Words
, authorities can protect the presence of forests by classifying them as untouchable sites. In conclusion, the reason for the deterioration of both zoo and plant life is
pollution
Use synonyms
 and deforestation; yet, these problems can be tackled by implementing suitable laws and using more advanced filtering systems.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure each point in your argument is directly linked to the question for a more thorough task achievement.
task achievement
Expand on specific examples to demonstrate a clearer understanding and strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Clearly stated the major causes of animal and plant decline, such as pollution and deforestation, early in the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively starts with a statement before transitioning to a discussion about the main issues.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph is well-organized with a clear beginning and end, providing structure to the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • urbanization
  • deforestation
  • agricultural expansion
  • pollution control
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable practices
  • overexploitation
  • invasive species
  • conservation
  • quarantine measures
  • eradication programs
  • public awareness campaigns
  • habitat destruction
  • climate change
  • natural habitats
  • species decline
What to do next:
Look at other essays: