Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There are different opinions regarding who should be responsible for teaching the
children
how to act the best in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Ones suggest that family is the primary source of learning social skills,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
the other opinion is that schools and teachers play the leading
role
here. On one hand,
children
of
school
age spend a significant amount of time in the education facilities communicating with teachers
as well as
other students. Given quite a large number of classmates and their different
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
,
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
learn
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
,
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
listen to
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
different opinions and acquire
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
skills that are required to be good members of society.
Moreover
, in most
schools
Add a comma
schools,
show examples
there are
such
disciplines as ethics,
history
Correct word choice
and history
show examples
, where
children
can acquire knowledge of different social
behaviour
Fix the agreement mistake
behaviours
show examples
.
In addition
,
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
can offer additional social events,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
show examples
volunteering.
This
adds additional experience
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
various social models.
On the other hand
, parents are the main people in
child‘s
Correct article usage
a child‘s
show examples
life from the very beginning. Starting from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
early childhood, kids try to be
alike
Correct your spelling
like
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their parents and mimic their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. Parent‘s
values
,
such
as kindness, empathy, responsibility,
willingness
Correct word choice
and willingness
show examples
to support others influence as well child‘s attitude. Mother and father are the main people who know their
children
best and during daily
comunication
Correct your spelling
communication
can make
impact
Add an article
an impact
show examples
on
children
‘s
values
. It‘s worth noting that
children
learn from the examples, so
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
values
are communicated to the
children
throughout daily activities. In conclusion, even though a
school
and teachers have a significant
role
in
child‘s
Correct article usage
a child‘s
show examples
social education, I think that the family‘s
role
here is crucial. In my opinion, the main
values
and
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
come from the family and
school
has a supportive
role
.
Submitted by rasa.vencpoliene on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to provide more specific real-world examples or situations to back up your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph is clearly focused on a single idea and ensure that transitions between ideas and paragraphs are smooth.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument, which is essential for this task type.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and match the content of the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
There's a logical flow to the essay with clear connections between ideas, especially between parent influence and school influence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: