Multicultural societies, where people of different groups live together, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Cosmopolitan
asossiations
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associations
association
contains
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contain
show examples
individuals with
variouse
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various
cultures
.
While
it is argued that
negative
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the negative
show examples
points of
this
trend
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
more than
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
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ones, I firmly agree that the
advanteges
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advantages
are far more than
disadvantages
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the disadvantages
show examples
in
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
areas.
Firstly
, I
aknowledge
Correct your spelling
know
that living with different
cultures
may bring some problems
such
as culture shocks or misunderstanding,
it
Correct word choice
but it
show examples
is noteworthy that
combination
Correct article usage
a combination
show examples
of
cultures
seem
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seems
show examples
to bring an opportunity to benefit from other
cultures
.
This
not only
help
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helps
show examples
the society to make
satifying
Correct your spelling
satisfying
communication with other nations, but
also
would assist
to eliminate
Change preposition
in eliminating
show examples
unpleasant points of their own
cultures
.
Nevertheless
, Many people in society could learn from others and eventually, development and promotion will
occure
Correct your spelling
occur
occurs
in that country.
Secoundly
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Secondly
, having a
veriety
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variety
of people in society may help to build a dynamic association since individuals put effort
to learn
Change preposition
into learning
show examples
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
and
this
could attract more tourists.
As a result
, financial climates
has
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have
show examples
changed dramatically. Apart from that,
Submitted by Maral.qanbarii1992 on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. It's important to guide the reader through the argument and summarize key points effectively at the end.
relevant specific examples
Use more specific examples to support your arguments. This helps to make your points more convincing and relatable.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on developing comprehensive and clear ideas throughout your essay. Ensure your argument is easy to follow and understand by elaborating on key points.
logical structure
You presented a balanced view on the benefits and drawbacks of multicultural societies. Acknowledging both sides of the argument strengthens your essay.
supported main points
You identified relevant areas such as cultural exchange and economic benefits that can arise from multicultural societies. This provides a strong foundation for your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural exchange
  • cultural fabric
  • traditions and perspectives
  • innovation
  • economic growth
  • social cohesion
  • tolerance and understanding
  • unity in diversity
  • cultural clashes
  • language barriers
  • multilingualism
  • integration
  • translation services
  • prejudice
  • diversity
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