Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
Nowadays, a lot of various animal species are at the edge of extinction,
consequently
plenty of people undertake measures to prevent that. In Add a comma
consequently,
this
essay
I will list two possible Add a comma
essay,
problems
as well as
give a solution for both of them.
One of the possible problems
is the existence of the black market. This
is the place where people can buy rare (and often illegally obtained) trophies. Some of them are obtained from rare species of animals. For example
, not so long ago a lot of bounty hunters were following and killing African elephants to get their tusks. Because of that the population of this
animal decreased drastically. (The other) Another problem is also
caused by humans. Due to
(Caused by) the progress made by humankind, a lot of natural habitats can be destroyed leading to the extinction of animals living there. In fact, scientists say that it can be the biggest problem in the future because of rising sea levels and rapidly increasing average temperature
.
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
However
, there is at least one solution that can solve both of these problems
. Building and maintaining national parks can save some animal species from vanishing/becoming endangered. By creating (preserving) them people can not only assure
that natural Verb problem
ensure
habitat
and animals will be preserved (unharmed), but they Fix the agreement mistake
habitats
also
will be protected from bounty hunters,(because) due to
the guards and security measures out (introduced, maintained) there. For example
, building new national parks in some African countries helped to preserve the population of elephants living there. It increased significantly in the span of the last
15 years.
To conclude
, there are in my opinion two main problems
that need to be addressed: poachers and black market existence besides
destruction
of natural habitats caused by humans. Correct article usage
the destruction
Constracting
and maintaining preservation parks can be a solution to both of them.Correct your spelling
Constructing
Contracting
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task achievement
Ensure that all ideas are fully developed and connected to the main topic. Some points in the essay could be further elaborated to provide a more comprehensive answer.
coherence cohesion
Use conjunctions and linking words consistently to improve the flow of ideas. Although your essay is generally coherent, there are areas where transitions could be smoother.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents the topic and sets up the essay's structure by summarizing the content to come.
relevant specific examples
You used relevant and specific examples, such as the African elephant case, which effectively illustrate your points.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion ties up the main ideas neatly, restating the problems and solution you've discussed.
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