IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart shows average monthly student expenditure in the UK in 2016. The bar chart shows sources of student income in the same year.

The pie chart shows average monthly student expenditure in the UK in 2016. The bar chart shows sources of student income in the same year.
#student #expenditure #uk #bar #sources #income #year
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The diagrams illustrate how much money was spent by
students
 in the UK in different sectors,
as well as
 the sources of their
income
.
Overall
, most of the
students
 have more than one source of
income
 with Student
loan
Fix the agreement mistake
loans
show examples
, family and part-time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 being used by more than 50% of them. Rent was a category where
this
 group spent more than half of their total monthly
income
. The Rent was the most expensive spender for
this
 social group with 385. In comparison to it, the young people didn't spend that much on travel, socialising and bills. These numbers are 52, 64,
69
Correct word choice
and 69
show examples
 respectively.
Amount
Correct article usage
The amount
show examples
 of money spent on food is double (about 124). Other
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 about 91.
Number
Correct article usage
The number
show examples
 one source of
income
 was
Student
Correct article usage
a Student
show examples
 loan with 80%. Family and part-time jobs placed 2nd and 3rd respectively with around 65%. Less than half of all
students
 used savings and bank
overdraft
Fix the agreement mistake
overdrafts
show examples
. Grants and fundings
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 used only by around 40% of
students
, which was the lowest number on the chart.
Submitted by isakov.iv1 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, income with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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