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Writing Samples /
Band 5

People often find it difficult to adapt to new situations in their lives. Why do you think this is? What measures can you suggest to make it easier?

#people #situations #lives #measures
A lot of
people
 find it difficult to deal with unfamiliar
situations
. I believe
this
 is natural and some solutions will be argued in
this
 essay. The main reason that individuals have trouble in new
situations
related
Add a missing verb
is related
show examples
 to childhood fears.
this
 means we often fear
of
Change preposition
apply
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phenomenons
Replace the word
phenomena
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 that were scary when we were a child. parents have a vital role
to create
Change preposition
in creating
show examples
such
mindset
Correct article usage
a mindset
show examples
.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research by Harward
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 says that those who have parents that help and
led
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 them to practice and experience new skills in childhood
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
challenges
 when they face job
challenges
 in
adultness
Replace the word
adulthood
show examples
.
Such
people
trained
Add a missing verb
are trained
show examples
basic
Change preposition
in basic
show examples
 solutions and work on them
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 many years so they can use them to address upcoming problems in life. The second reason that new
situations
 are difficult is nowadays
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
 development is very fast.
This
 means that we should prepare to learn new sciences in new fields.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 we can see AI technology is a trending area that can increase the pace of doing tasks in companies. Those who are not trained in
this
 field and don't take action to learn it might be fired or have to do their jobs with lower
payments
Replace the word
pay
show examples
.
This
 issue can lead to commercial
challenges
 for their family too. New studies by Stanford show that to address the challenge
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
new
Add an article
the new
a new
show examples
 situation we have two solutions. First families should train brave children who have no fear to accept new
challenges
 and even help them to deal with
such
 problems. The second way is that we must encourage
people
 to study in new fields and get ready for new experiences. In conclusion,
while
 dealing with new
situations
 is difficult for
people
, I believe
this
 can be easier by both childhood and training new basic skills in modern life.
Submitted by jingelbing on

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, aim to provide more diverse examples and clearer explanations for each main point. This will help to fully support the argument and provide a comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, focus on maintaining a consistent logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Using linking words more effectively can help in achieving this.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear response to the task, discussing causes and solutions regarding adaptation to new situations.
coherence cohesion
The structure includes a clear introduction, discussion, and conclusion, supporting the overall logical flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fear of the unknown
  • Comfort zone
  • Familiar
  • Inherently uncertain
  • Challenges
  • Necessary tools
  • Skills
  • Efficiently
  • Emotional ties
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Overwhelming
  • Cultural backgrounds
  • Social backgrounds
  • Adaptable
  • Change management
  • Coping strategies
  • Resilience
  • Support network
  • Preparation
  • Flexibility
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