IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People often find it difficult to adapt to new situations in their lives. Why do you think this is? What measures can you suggest to make it easier?

#people #situations #lives #measures
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A lot of
people
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 find it difficult to deal with unfamiliar
situations
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. I believe
this
Linking Words
 is natural and some solutions will be argued in
this
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 essay. The main reason that individuals have trouble in new
situations
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related
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is related
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 to childhood fears.
this
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 means we often fear
of
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apply
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phenomenons
Replace the word
phenomena
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 that were scary when we were a child. parents have a vital role
to create
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in creating
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such
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mindset
Correct article usage
a mindset
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.
For
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example
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example,
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a
Remove the article
apply
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research by Harward
university
Capitalize word
University
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 says that those who have parents that help and
led
Wrong verb form
lead
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 them to practice and experience new skills in childhood
,
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apply
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 have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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challenges
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 when they face job
challenges
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 in
adultness
Replace the word
adulthood
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.
Such
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people
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trained
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are trained
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basic
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in basic
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 solutions and work on them
in
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for
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 many years so they can use them to address upcoming problems in life. The second reason that new
situations
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 are difficult is nowadays
technology
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technological
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 development is very fast.
This
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 means that we should prepare to learn new sciences in new fields.
For
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example
Add a comma
example,
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 we can see AI technology is a trending area that can increase the pace of doing tasks in companies. Those who are not trained in
this
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 field and don't take action to learn it might be fired or have to do their jobs with lower
payments
Replace the word
pay
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.
This
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 issue can lead to commercial
challenges
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 for their family too. New studies by Stanford show that to address the challenge
with
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of
show examples
new
Add an article
the new
a new
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 situation we have two solutions. First families should train brave children who have no fear to accept new
challenges
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 and even help them to deal with
such
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 problems. The second way is that we must encourage
people
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 to study in new fields and get ready for new experiences. In conclusion,
while
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 dealing with new
situations
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 is difficult for
people
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, I believe
this
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 can be easier by both childhood and training new basic skills in modern life.
Submitted by jingelbing on

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, aim to provide more diverse examples and clearer explanations for each main point. This will help to fully support the argument and provide a comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, focus on maintaining a consistent logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Using linking words more effectively can help in achieving this.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear response to the task, discussing causes and solutions regarding adaptation to new situations.
coherence cohesion
The structure includes a clear introduction, discussion, and conclusion, supporting the overall logical flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fear of the unknown
  • Comfort zone
  • Familiar
  • Inherently uncertain
  • Challenges
  • Necessary tools
  • Skills
  • Efficiently
  • Emotional ties
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Overwhelming
  • Cultural backgrounds
  • Social backgrounds
  • Adaptable
  • Change management
  • Coping strategies
  • Resilience
  • Support network
  • Preparation
  • Flexibility
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