Home schooling belongs to the past and is unacceptable in modern society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Use your own knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence

#home #society #support #arguments #evidence

Education

is key to success. During the past

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

decades,

education

Correct article usage

the education

show examples

system modified or advanced to

much

Add an article

a much

the much

show examples

greater extent. In modern society,

home

schooling

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

been changed to contemporary learning criteria in schools, colleges and universities. I believe that learning in these institutes is more viable than

home

schooling, and accepted in modern society.

To begin

with, as

researches

Fix the agreement mistake

research

show examples

and discoveries become quotidian nowadays; a lot of educational stuff

added

Add a missing verb

is added

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

students

syllabus

Fix the agreement mistake

syllabi

show examples

Due to

additional

Correct article usage

the additional

show examples

material of

advance

Replace the word

advanced

show examples

researches

Fix the agreement mistake

research

show examples

, it is

neccesary

Correct your spelling

necessary

to choose

tutor

Add an article

a tutor

show examples

with specialization. Every

parents

Change to a singular noun

parent

show examples

may not be specialized in every field, so it is considered of paramount importance to

enroll

Change the spelling

enrol

show examples

school

Correct article usage

a school

show examples

with teachers having advanced knowledge.

For example

reseach

Correct your spelling

research

conducted by the newspaper "The Times of India"

suggest

Change the verb form

suggests

show examples

that

students

who prefer schooling at

home

, are less likely to perform better than those who

enroll

Change the spelling

enrol

show examples

in educational institutions.

Thus

, to enhance

students

' performance enrollment in schools and colleges is more important which

encourage

Correct subject-verb agreement

encourages

show examples

modern

Correct article usage

the modern

show examples

era to renounce the historical educational system.

Secondly

, registration to educational institutions

foster

Correct subject-verb agreement

fosters

show examples

face-to-face interaction

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

students

to develop social

skils

Correct your spelling

skills

show examples

. In

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

and colleges,

students

interact with

students

of other religions,

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

, cognitive levels and different

socities

Correct your spelling

societies

; that interaction gives rise to communication

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

and provides a way to improve collaborative behaviour. For

examples

Fix the agreement mistake

example

show examples

, a study conducted by Oxford University

demostrates

Correct your spelling

demonstrates

demonstrated

that

students

who learn by

home

schooling

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

feels

Change the verb form

feel

show examples

hesitation to communicate and

collborate

Correct your spelling

collaborate

with others.

Therefore

, it is conclusively clear that enrollment in institutions

improve

Change the verb form

improves

show examples

societal skills.

That is

why the past

education

criteria

Change the verb form

are

show examples

ignored. In conclusion, to develop social skills and provide accurate guidance,

day by day

Add a hyphen

day-by-day

show examples

modification in

education

Add an article

the education

show examples

system is of paramount importance.

Submitted by sangeetakamboz on Tue Oct 29 2024

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task achievement

The essay effectively answers the question and presents a clear stance on the topic. However, it could benefit from a clearer distinction between 'agree' and 'disagree' points to fully explore the extent of your agreement or disagreement.

coherence cohesion

While the essay has an introduction and conclusion, the arguments in the body paragraphs could be better linked together to enhance coherence. This can be improved by using transitional phrases like 'Furthermore', 'In addition', and 'However'.

task achievement

The essay uses some examples, which are relevant, but they could be more detailed to increase their impact. Consider expanding on these examples to provide a broader context or deeper analysis.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, effectively framing the argument and summarizing your stance.

task achievement

The main points are generally supported with examples and references, such as the Times of India research and the Oxford University study.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Home schooling belongs to the past and is unacceptable in modern society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Use your own knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many high street shops have gone out of business in recent years. Why do you think this has happened? Is it a positive or negative development?

Many people believe that the media plays a crucial role in shaping public opinion. Others argue that individuals have the power to form their own opinions independent of media influence. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

n many places, people's lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships.

Young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to work or study in cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the drawbacks?