Home schooling belongs to the past and is unacceptable in modern society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Use your own knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence
Education
is key to success. During the past some
decades, Correct quantifier usage
apply
education
system modified or advanced to Correct article usage
the education
much
greater extent. In modern society, Add an article
a much
the much
home
schooling have
been changed to contemporary learning criteria in schools, colleges and universities. I believe that learning in these institutes is more viable than Change the verb form
has
home
schooling, and accepted in modern society.
To begin
with, as researches
and discoveries become quotidian nowadays; a lot of educational stuff Fix the agreement mistake
research
added
Add a missing verb
is added
in
Change preposition
to
students
' syllabus
. Fix the agreement mistake
syllabi
Due to
additional
material of Correct article usage
the additional
advance
Replace the word
advanced
researches
, it is Fix the agreement mistake
research
neccesary
to choose Correct your spelling
necessary
tutor
with specialization. Every Add an article
a tutor
parents
may not be specialized in every field, so it is considered of paramount importance to Change to a singular noun
parent
enroll
in Change the spelling
enrol
school
with teachers having advanced knowledge. Correct article usage
a school
For example
, reseach
conducted by the newspaper "The Times of India" Correct your spelling
research
suggest
that Change the verb form
suggests
students
who prefer schooling at home
, are less likely to perform better than those who enroll
in educational institutions. Change the spelling
enrol
Thus
, to enhance students
' performance enrollment in schools and colleges is more important which encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
modern
era to renounce the historical educational system.
Correct article usage
the modern
Secondly
, registration to educational institutions foster
face-to-face interactionCorrect subject-verb agreement
fosters
,
and Remove the comma
apply
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
students
to develop social skils
. In Correct your spelling
skills
school
and colleges, Fix the agreement mistake
schools
students
interact with students
of other religions, behaviors
, cognitive levels and different Change the spelling
behaviours
socities
; that interaction gives rise to communication Correct your spelling
societies
skill
and provides a way to improve collaborative behaviour. For Fix the agreement mistake
skills
examples
, a study conducted by Oxford University Fix the agreement mistake
example
demostrates
that Correct your spelling
demonstrates
demonstrated
students
who learn by home
schooling,
Remove the comma
apply
feels
hesitation to communicate and Change the verb form
feel
collborate
with others. Correct your spelling
collaborate
Therefore
, it is conclusively clear that enrollment in institutions improve
societal skills. Change the verb form
improves
That is
why the past education
criteria is
ignored.
In conclusion, to develop social skills and provide accurate guidance, Change the verb form
are
day by day
modification in Add a hyphen
day-by-day
education
system is of paramount importance.Add an article
the education
Submitted by sangeetakamboz on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay effectively answers the question and presents a clear stance on the topic. However, it could benefit from a clearer distinction between 'agree' and 'disagree' points to fully explore the extent of your agreement or disagreement.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has an introduction and conclusion, the arguments in the body paragraphs could be better linked together to enhance coherence. This can be improved by using transitional phrases like 'Furthermore', 'In addition', and 'However'.
task achievement
The essay uses some examples, which are relevant, but they could be more detailed to increase their impact. Consider expanding on these examples to provide a broader context or deeper analysis.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, effectively framing the argument and summarizing your stance.
task achievement
The main points are generally supported with examples and references, such as the Times of India research and the Oxford University study.