The bar chart shows information about the favorite subiects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subiects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart gives information about the favourite subjects ( social
science
Use synonyms
,
science
Use synonyms
, language , drawing and sport ) in two secondary schools. From an
overall
Linking Words
perspective , it can be clearly seen that the
school
Use synonyms
A experienced a downward trend .
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
B showed an upward trend throughout the period. Both
schools
Change noun form
school's
schools'
show examples
rates had some fluctuations.
Although
Linking Words
school
Use synonyms
A
initially
Linking Words
had a lower rate , it outraced
school
Use synonyms
B
at the end
Linking Words
of the period. Commencing with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
A , the number of pupils who preferred language and drawing
gotten
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
the lowest figures with 5 % around 5 to 4 students in the order .
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
sport increased sharply to 36 higher compared to the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
Use synonyms
students
interesting
Replace the word
interested
show examples
also
Linking Words
, social
science
Use synonyms
witnessed a decrease to 6 pupils respectively.
School
Use synonyms
B ,
science
Use synonyms
a hitting a low - point of about 2 . Followed closely, just below sport at
result
Add an article
the result
show examples
of the 5 .
Afterword
Correct your spelling
Afterwards
show examples
, craft /drawing and language
having
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
the highest percentage exceeding 18 and 25 students.
Submitted by a.almakmari93 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words science, school with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • favorite subjects
  • popularity
  • comparison
  • significant differences
  • similar levels of interest
  • subject preference
  • curriculum
  • facilities
  • impact
  • trend
What to do next:
Look at other essays: