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Writing Samples
Band 4

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subiects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subiects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.
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This
Linking Words
 bar graph depicts
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
data from two different schools about
students
Use synonyms
'
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 subjects.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most likely class for
school
Use synonyms
 A is Sport which
gain
Wrong verb form
gained
show examples
 36
votes
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the least is
Craft
Use synonyms
 and Drawing with 4
students
Use synonyms
,
on the contrary
Linking Words
,
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 higher vote
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
for
Use synonyms
Craft
Correct article usage
the Craft
show examples
 / Drawing class of 25
student
Change to a plural noun
students
show examples
. the lowest voted subject for
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 was Science having 2
votes
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, Social Science have 16
votes
Use synonyms
 in total, 10 (
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
), and 6 from
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another
school
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
 for the aggregate lower subject is Science with 11
votes
Use synonyms
. Language
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 5
students
Use synonyms
 from
school
Use synonyms
 A
while
Linking Words
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 have about 2 doubles with 18
vote
Fix the agreement mistake
votes
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
two classes in aggregate
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 (Sport), and (
Craft
Use synonyms
 / Drawing) respectively. 41
students
Use synonyms
 love the Sport class
while
Linking Words
 5 of them
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 from
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 29
students
Use synonyms
 like
Craft
Use synonyms
/Drawing.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, school, votes, craft, b with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • favorite subjects
  • popularity
  • comparison
  • significant differences
  • similar levels of interest
  • subject preference
  • curriculum
  • facilities
  • impact
  • trend
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