IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Prevention is better than cure. Research and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree?

#prevention #cure #research #diseases #measures
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that
prevention
 is better than cure, as the cost and time for treatments could be tremendous. I would agree to a large extent that the investment in
prevention
 is better. Preventative measures
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 people a strong immunity, decreasing the potential of getting illness, which could be hard to deal with. It is often encouraged by doctors that the
prevention
 of disease is important to keep a healthy
immunity
Replace the word
immune
show examples
 system.
For example
, people are persuaded to do
excercises
Correct your spelling
exercises
exercise
 at least three times a week,
drinking
Wrong verb form
drink
show examples
adequate
Add an article
an adequate
show examples
 amount of water and
keeping
Verb problem
get
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sufficient sleep in order to maintain a healthy condition. All of these
advices
Correct your spelling
devices
 aim to keep
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 away from the harm of diseases and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medicines. As for the medication
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cure, it has some chemical substances inside, which could be detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 our bodies.
As a result
,
prevention
Correct article usage
the prevention
show examples
 of health should be prioritized over
the diseases treatment
Change to a genitive case
the treatment of the disease
the treatment of the diseases
show examples
. At the same time, healing treatment could be
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 exorbitant expense for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, as it requires delicate
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 and countless experiments to ensure its safety. During the Covid period, every country dedicated a significant amount of money and
energe
Correct your spelling
energy
 into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pandamic
Correct your spelling
pandemic
 treatments.
However
, it took almost three years to
finally
 dominate the degradation of
this
 virus.
Therefore
, if the spread of
this
 virus could be controlled and be alerted to the public
eariler
Correct your spelling
earlier
, things would become
this
 severe.
On the other hand
, some individuals are susceptible to certain illnesses.
Thus
, the
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 treatments can't be completely overlooked in order to serve some groups of people who are in need. In conclusion, I agree
that
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the notion of
prioritzing
Correct your spelling
prioritising
prevention
 over treatment, as it
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
 no harm to our health and at the same time
save
Correct subject-verb agreement
saves
show examples
 money for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Nonetheless
, we can not neglect the
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
 of certain patients owing to their distinctive body conditions.
Overall
, both cure and
prevention
 are important, but the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
show examples
 one is the key
leading
Change preposition
to leading
show examples
 to a healthy life.
Submitted by a0979181071 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction that reflects the extent of your agreement or disagreement with the topic.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points, which can help to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence and that ideas are logically connected within and between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The argument is generally coherent with ideas that are logically connected.
task achievement
The essay adequately addresses the task, with responses that are well-developed and show a strong understanding of the topic.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: