IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that a significant difference between a parents age and their child's age is a good thing. Do you think the advantages of a significant age gap outweigh the disadvantages?

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Some people claim that the
age
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 difference between
parents
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 and
children
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 is essential for parental skills.
Therefore
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, in my view, dramatic differences in
age
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 have some concerns,
however
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,
this
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 essay will provide both pros and cons from my perspective and experience. Numerous people who have
kids
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 at an older
age
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 will be more financially stable and can give better opportunities for their
kids
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;
in particular
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, education and extracurricular activities.
In contrast
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, today the greatest problem in society is the generation gap;
due to
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, moral acceptance, political opinion, accessibility of social media and lifestyle the topics that several
children
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 can't discuss with their
parents
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 because
this
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 contributes to issues in the family.
Moreover
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, older
parents
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 might face health challenges as they
age
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, which could impact their ability to engage in physical activities with their
children
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;
in addition
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, every doctor is very concerned about
kids
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 who are born from older households which will affect physical health with a young;
likewise
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, down syndrome or deformity of the chromosome.
On the other hand
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, the minimum
age
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 of
parents
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 is positive it their child; in fact, they will be like a good friend and safe zone for their
kids
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, they will follow the guidelines of
parents
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 that lead the child to have a strong relationship with the family.
Furthermore
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, young
parents
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 have more chances to see successful or special events in their
children
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such
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 as graduating from university, marrying and having a need or nephew, than in an older household. The reason is that the risk of giving birth or physical health that higher risk than youngest
parents
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.
To sum up
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, younger parent can be safe zones
also
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 besties for their child more than older ones. Alternatively, older
parents
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 have stable finances that can make the dreams of their
kids
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 come true more than younger ones.

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task achievement
Be sure to address both the advantages and disadvantages more clearly and equally. This will enhance the depth of your analysis.
coherence cohesion
Improve the grammatical accuracy by revisiting verb tenses and sentence structures. For instance, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use of articles.
coherence cohesion
Use transitions and cohesive devices more effectively to make ideas flow logically and connect paragraphs smoothly. This will help in achieving better cohesion.
task response
You have shown a good understanding of the topic by presenting both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay concludes with a summarizing statement, linking back to the introduction and giving closure to the discussion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • generational differences
  • emotional intelligence
  • financial stability
  • life experience
  • extracurricular activities
  • contemporary issues
  • role models
  • health challenges
  • guidance
  • parenting
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