Many people think that the most important things in our life cannot be bought. Do you agree or disagree? Give your answers with examples from your knowledge and experience.
Attaching a price tag to a valuable thing is not
widespread
practice Correct article usage
a widespread
while
it is true that many things
in our society
is
free Change the verb form
are
but
we cannot buy the most expensive Correct word choice
apply
things
like love
and happiness. I am totally agree
with Change the verb form
totally agree
this
statement and explaining
all points in upcoming paragraphs.
Wrong verb form
will explain
Firstly
, the love
and happiness from
our family and Change preposition
of
society
cannot be bought. To evaluate, if we had
a Wrong verb form
have
high level
degree and we are working in a company with a good wage and an individual can buy all the materialistic Add a hyphen
high-level
things
they want but the love
a person Correct subject-verb agreement
gains
gain
from the people has no value and Correct subject-verb agreement
gains
Correct pronoun usage
apply
it
is increased day by day. To exemplify, one of my Correct pronoun usage
apply
friend
in my Fix the agreement mistake
friends
neighbour
had a post Correct your spelling
neighbourhood
of
Change preposition
as
Chartered
Accountant in an office and she is always busy Correct article usage
a Chartered
in
her work and making money so she can Change preposition
with
fulfill
her dreams but she forgets that she is missing the precious moments with her family.
Change the spelling
fulfil
Furthermore
, respect
is also
one of the major aspect
of Change to a plural noun
aspects
this
statement. This
because
gaining Add a missing verb
is because
respect
in our environment and community is very difficult as difficcult
as making money and if a person does not have Correct your spelling
difficult
respect
in society
resultantly it will be not easy to survive in a community. To evalaute
, an incident happened Correct your spelling
evaluate
with
Change preposition
to
my
one time I argued with my teacher in Correct pronoun usage
me
school
Add an article
a school
the school
and
I am the best student of Correct word choice
apply
her
but just because of Correct pronoun usage
hers
that
I felt Add a comma
that,
regret
and ashamed and never Replace the word
regretful
try
to look into her eyes.
To encapsulate, Wrong verb form
tried
love
, happiness and respect
are three
most important Correct article usage
the three
things
in a person
life which cannot be bought Change noun form
person's
either
they have a lot of money. Correct word choice
apply
As a result
, try to gain love
from your family and society
.Submitted by yuvrajsinghsaggu200703 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and an attempt at a conclusion, but the structure could be sharper, especially in terms of linking your main points to the conclusion and ensuring that each main point is clearly introduced and developed.
task achievement
While your points about love, happiness, and respect are relevant and examples are provided, they could be further developed and clearly connected to your main argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main point of the paragraph, and make sure your arguments are directly related to the essay question.
task achievement
Your essay attempts to tackle the essence of the topic by focusing on intangible aspects such as love, happiness, and respect, which are relevant to the statement in the prompt.
task achievement
Good effort in providing examples from personal experience to support your points, adding authenticity to your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.