The qualities of a person to be successful in a real world cannot be learned from a university or similar academic institution.

The discussion about whether or not the characteristics
to be
Verb problem
of
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a successful individual can be learned from a university or similar institution is a very controversial one. There are
people
on both sides of the argument who have very strong feelings. There are a number of good reasons why
people
think that the qualities can be learned from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic institutions like universities. First of all, it is an unannounced rule of both the corporate world and the social world that a man's acquisition of academic
qualifications
is a giant reflector towards
success
in every wall of life. These essentials for
success
cannot be learned without professional
help-in
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help in
show examples
schools
and
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apply
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colleges or universities.
Furthermore
, A few exceptions cannot be taken as a general rule. If you look at a global directory of successful
people
you might find a few hundred like Bill Gates, but you will find millions of doctors, engineers, IT professionals, lawyers, and advocates who rely upon their formal education. Even Bill Gates
has
Verb problem
would
show examples
not
prospered
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have prospered
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without the skills of these IT professionals and engineers
Moreover
,
success
is about making the most of your talents and abilities, and that requires dedication and study in academic institutions that will stretch you intellectually There are,
however
, many
people
who have
absolute
Correct article usage
the absolute
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opposite idea regarding the topic.
Firstly
,
Success
never depends upon grades. If
success
and opportunities were measured by grades
then
the corporate world would not ask for
bio data
Correct your spelling
biodata
show examples
in résumés, where other
qualifications
are
also
mentioned.
Secondly
, the rule of
success
is hard work and destiny of course. If a student of engineering gets good grades but
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is not practically effective in
relationship-buildings
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relationship-building
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and solving crises or proper planning. even though he may be successful in getting a job
but
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apply
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it will not lead him far.
Moreover
,
success
does not depend upon academic
qualifications
but upon opportunities provided by entrepreneurs who may not
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
necessarily be highly educated.
In addition
, Successful entrepreneurs even benefit from not having academic
qualifications
, because going to college and taking examinations forces
people
to learn and think like millions of other graduates. In conclusion, I would like to state that I am in favour
of
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
against the statement. I think what I have stated in
this
essay emphasizes
this
point and requires no more discussion.
Submitted by nazmulrafi023 on

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Task Achievement
Your essay covers different points of view about whether success can be learned in academic institutions, which is great. However, it would be beneficial to make your stance clearer in the conclusion. Consider clearly restating your position or combining your arguments to form a unified stance.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve coherence by organizing your essay in a smoother flow. You might consider using more transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument seamlessly. Additionally, be consistent with your references to examples such as the mention of Bill Gates. This will amplify your key points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction sets the scene well by acknowledging the controversy; this is a strong start.
Task Achievement
You distinguish well between the views of those who support and those who oppose the assertion that success qualities are learned in universities.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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